Grumpy Old Nerds

First of all, a Happy Halloween to those who observe it, to those that don't....how long have you been with Al-Qaeda?  Tomorrow being Tuesday...the day when games, music, dvds, etc. get released to our sweaty little hearts content, we thought it would be nice to do a weekly piece where we briefly highlight the things that will be available that WE are looking forward to.  This is the start of what will be an extremely busy holiday season for us, to which we say BRING IT ON, BITCHES!  So keeping this in mind, here is what has our attention this week:


Uncharted 3 has been on our collective radars since news of it dropped almost a year ago.  The first two reminded us of all the things we loved about the pre-Crystal Skull Indiana Jones movies and then took it up a notch.  All of the screens and videos we have seen from this game has made us drool, and run to preorder our copies.  I just hope Naughty Dog comes through.


  "Wait, what?  DC Universe Online is on here?  But....this game has been out for a while now!"  Is probably what you are saying.  But we have this on the list BECAUSE the folks over at DCUO will be unveiling their Free to Play feature.  Will this get more people interested in this MMO set in the world of DC Comics?  Hard to say, but we will be looking into it further when it is available.  But speaking of DC stuff....




The recently released (and reviewed!) game Batman: Arkham City has already had some decent DLC in the form of the Catwoman missions, a very entertaining addition to the Batman experience.  Tomorrow however we get yet another DLC pack, this one featuring Nightwing aka Dick Grayson.  Will this be a substantive addition to an already packed game or will it clutter up the place?  We'll find out and let you know!


Not much by way of films this week, aside from a 3D release of the Pixar classic Toy Story Trilogy and the Bill Murray Classic Scrooged released for the first time on BluRay.  If these titles do not interest you, then might I suggest snagging Captain America if you haven't already.

Well that is it for this week, stay tuned we'll be offering up reviews on Uncharted 3 as well as the Nightwing DLC.

- Grumpy Old Nerds

A few things to talk about this week; some of it good….but most of it is just down right annoying as hell. We have gotten a lot of news on some anticipated titles as well as tired old standards; and I felt it important that we talk about them. By we, I of course mean me, and by talk I mean go on a tirade (for the most part) over these offending news items in question. But how would I go about it? How could I convey the kind of irritation that is being experienced? Why, in this new segment: Get Off My Lawn! So without further adieu…

Blizzcon took place this past week and I can’t adequately convey how big a waste of time this ridiculous “convention” is. Where E3 and others feature hundreds upon hundreds of titles, Blizzcon features two or three that we probably won’t get our hands on until three years after the fact. Of course we can’t forget the wildly popular World of Warcraft, a title that features the best society has to offer. When it became obvious that the upcoming title from Bioware, Star Wars: The Old Republic was going to pose as competition to a game that has begun to see its numbers dip...outside of those who like to sodomize themselves with TV remotes, it was clear that they needed something big….something that will draw people back into the World…of….well you get the idea. Their solution?

Pandaria and the new race: Pandarans. The new expansion: Mists of Pandaria sounds like a kind of Naruto vehicle you would find on Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon. But no, this would be how the Blizz responds to immersive multiplayer experiences, innovative companion systems, and a setting created by a bearded madman that has generated billions upon billions of dollars in movie, action figure, and clothing sales worldwide: put some Jack Black Kung Fu Panda in their game. Great idea. No seriously…I know my first instinct when having to compete with a Galaxy Far Far Away would be to open up content that reminds people that they need to order the Peking Duck from the local Panda Express. BUT on the bright side….this might actually be the thing that gives Gungans the street cred that idiot Lucas had been hoping for since he unleashed that Jar Jar monstrosity upon the world.

If I could go back to Bioware if I may, we had mentioned the news about multiplayer in Mass Effect 3 back when it was announced by the game’s head honcho: Casey Hudson. Since that time we have gotten small bits of info on what the feature would entail, and assurances that this is a separate experience entirely from the main story. As a matter of fact, we have learned that no one will be able to play as Commander Shepard in this (up to) 4 player survival mode, and in honesty? I think that it could be a good thing if done properly. Though I still wonder why in the hell we need to have multiplayer for every damn game that comes out. I mean come on….what happened to simple single player? Do we HAVE to have a feature that forces us to interact with other people online? And great question…what is it about online play that turns a person into such a little douche? All I know is the first person I hear saying something like “nice one noob” or however those little shits talk, I am unleashing friendly fire upon.

Earlier I had reviewed Batman: Arkham City and had given it a rather high score (9.0 out of 10). While I stand by it, this is not to say that there isn’t a lot wrong with the game. There are a lot of little things that really make you disappointed in the work. If it was anything else, it would have gotten a 7.5 or an 8.0, but considering how good the positives were, it really helped balance it out. The story in particular leaves you with a “holy shit” feeling that makes you forget all but for a moment how cliché’d boss battles were. Regardless, I stick by the 9.0 and if you are any fan of Batman at all, you will agree. And if you don’t….well odds are you are a terrorist.

The next big title to be coming out this year is the highly anticipated Uncharted 3.

I can’t help but worry that this latest Nathan Drake adventure is going to be a narrative letdown in comparison to the first two of the franchise. Regardless, all that we have seen looks breathtaking and I hope that I am not disappointed with it. We’ll have a first impressions write up the first night and then a review this week so keep an eye out for that. Don't forget to follow me on Twitter @Numbspoon. For now? I am going to go sit out on my porch and yell at children with a bullhorn.

- Numbspoon

So what would you do if you wrote your very own Spiderman game? Most of us would take pieces of the games in the past that we liked and cobble them together into one super conglomerate of Spidey goodness. Maybe even varying up the gameplay enough to never make you feel like you're just slowly chipping away at the game while keeping things fresh. However in this go-round of the Spiderman gaming franchise... well we got porked worse than Spider-Pig.

Shattered Dimensions appealed to the gamer in us all by juggling us through varied and beautiful environments that were so radically different that sometimes you'd just stop running around the map to admire the work done. Which was expected, and even encouraged in a few levels where you were handed a wide pallet of scope to gaze at lovingly while trying to throw down with various bad guys. Not to mention how different the four Spidermen played. Between the extremely goofy Amazing Spiderman's web weapons to the gritty stealth assaults of Noir Spiderman.

However returning to this series are none of those good ideas. The four player cast is reduced to half. Giving you only Miguel O'Hara and Peter Parker to play with, and while this may not have been a bad thing to do in the end, it left the bad taste in my mouth that I couldn't appreciate the crafty chaos of Peter Parker's web antics as much without sneaking in the shadows as a hushed and gritty Noir Spiderman to contrast with.

Also the distinctive art styles varying from the hard edged black and white Sin-City style characters and locals to the fresh-and-clean plastic shapes of the world of 2099 are pretty much tossed. Instead both Spidermen share one style of graphics. The 2099 style, if you're a fan of the first game. While this worked so well in the first, this time you miss seeing those blotchy black outlines while playing Amazing Spiderman. At first I thought it wouldn't matter, but as time on this game ticked by I noticed I did, in fact, care. And missed that comic style art. However that alone cannot harm a game it's self.

The distinctive fighting styles, at their core, are still different, however both embrace a chaotic and sometimes satisfying smash-them-all style. Miguel still looks like he's got lightsabers on his hands, and Parker still strikes an impressive pose every time he lashes out with a punch or kick worthy of the hundreds of fan-favorite comic covers over the years. Still the end results are not very different. Even the movement system that left Miguel free-dropping for miles at a time to beat up on a bad guy that we loved so much? It's back. Far too much of it is back, in fact. Too much cake makes you sick, dontcha know?

I can nit pick all I want about the game, but the story is actually at least entertaining after you remind yourself that this is a Spiderman story. Which is usually comprised of the nearly impossible happening and you just have to roll with it. Once you jump that shark (or nuke the fridge, depending on your phrase of choice) it offers and interesting tale of how an Alchemex employee from 2099 went back in time to start the company earlier. And how Miguel and Parker have to work together to bring it down in two time lines.

The small picture in picture of the other Spiderman in the bottom right is entertaining. And their back-and-forth is very Spiderman worthy. It displays that the writers went into this with a real sense of Spiderman's core attribute at heart: A wit that never fades. And while listening to them banter through mediocre scenes makes much of the more boring parts bearable, it doesn't redeem the obserdity of the meddling they do with the timeline to get past particularly nasty surprises. Back to the Future with webs. Nuff said.

What about web swinging, you say? Yeah... what about it? There's very little. Most hallways are too small, short, and enclosed to really allow you to get that engrossed feeling you got from earlier Spidermans flops that at least felt cool to swing all through the city willy-nilly like GTA: Marvel. With slightly less car jacking or tank spawning cheats. Though that might have helped a few times here. Instead you get a cramped feeling, something that works against Spiderman's core strength as a character, and leaves you frustrated after a few hours of being given the iconic web swinger trapped in a sardine can.

We also lose that wonderful addition of first-person brawling you got periodically with certain bosses, making you feel like it was you who was dealing a whooping on them with some well placed right crosses. And sadly we're not really given any new neat gimmicks that would replace that unique and surprisingly fun feature. Bosses aren't an objective in and of themselves as the first game was, which gave the whole action of each episode a widened feel that the thugs you had to brawl were a means to an end. This time you just wish Spiderman could hide somewhere for a while and sneak past a few waves for the sake of your own sanity.

But what about the voices? We still get some veteran Spidermen from the first game. However older players like myself who remember Spiderman and his amazing friends will wilt just a little when they hear that Miguel is no longer voiced by that veteran voice actor and instead is voiced by the Spiderman from the 90s cartoon who did so well as the Noir Spidey in the last game. In fact I think a majority of my frustrations from this installment come from the fact that Noir isn't even there. He proved to be the heavy divergence from the norm and gave the other Spidermen that feeling of being that much more powerful only because he was so rooted in real world rules despite his powers.

At the end of the game you may enjoy the banter, the story (which isn't the best, but is nothing to scoff at) and even some of the game play. However after such a wonderful dose of Spiderman from the last outting this one leaves a sad taste in your mouth when it's all said and done just because no one wants to eat generic brand treats that cost as much as the real thing. Despite all this your real Spiderman fans will still have plenty of costumes to unlock, challenges to complete and difficulty settings to tear apart. Still for the majority of the gamers who're not huge fans of the Wall Crawler this will just leave you shaking your head for the small things that could have turned it into such a great second outting for the friendly neighborhood Spiderman.

All in all I think Family Guy said it best. "Everybody gets one." And sadly we already got ours.

The Breakdown:

The Good:

* The story isn't the greatest, but it still has it's moments that draw you in and makes you believe the obserdity of what's going on.
* The banter between Spidermen as they progress is excellent and can lighten the mood all on it's own.
* Voice acting and cut scenes are extremely well done, making the game feel like a Spiderman movie they probably shouldn't tell Sony about, but certainly an animated movie that we'd have loved to see.

The Bad:

* Gone are the distinctions that really stand out between the Spidermen besides a few minor gimmicks that don't really stand out on their own.
* No Noir Spiderman. Which was a great showing in the first one.
* Boss fights don't have the umph they did in the last outting. Leaving you more glad they're over simply to get on to the next part than having accomplished anything.
* Repetative cut-and-paste animations for solving environmental puzzles.
* No actual web swinging. Duh, guys!
* Only 1 really iconic villain to fight, and that's Black Cat who's cast as a villain every other game just to get her in the games themselves without blowing the story budget it seems.

Papa Mimic's Score: 6.5/10

Stormin' The Theaters: Paranormal Activity 3

Halloween, one of my favorite holidays. It allows women to forget about "Girl Powah" long enough to dress up as slutty as they want to be (that's right ladies, you can quit the facade...I know deep down what you really want to do), it allows the kids to rapidly be on their way to becoming a diabetic by rapidly downing as much candy as one can digest, and it allows a grumpy old nerd like myself to step out in public and pretend I am is just in a very well made costume and have a day to fit in with society which I have to say doing that can sometimes leave a bad taste in my mouth...just now, the very thought of socializing just made me threw up in my mouth a little bit.

There is one other thing about this time frame that can be labeled as either good or bad, depending on how much you like cheese. No, not swiss or cheddar, I'm talking about movie cheese. It's that time of year where the horror movies hit the television and theater by the dozens, and I'm going to talk about one of the movies, Paranormal Activity 3. I am a believer in the paranormal and am a huge fan of the subject. The first movie I enjoyed, but was a bit disappointed that the main trailer had it listed as one of the scariest movies of all time and it didn't give me any kind of scare. Now I'll admit I didn't see the second movie though I did catch what it was about and watched all the supposedly spooky scenes (Thanks Youtube!). I tried to get the movie from Red Box the day before going to see the newest installment but it was sold out, This lead me to question "Do I need to see the second one before seeing the third"? Then I realized, wait this is a prequel, anything from the second movie shouldn't have an effect on the movie.



I'm going to say from the start that seeing this movie was almost ruined for me because of several jackasses that couldn't shut up throughout the entire movie. You know the ones...the person that act's like he's a thug claiming he could fuck you up for telling him to shhh but we all know this prep trying to act like he's a "gangsta" and being all "Yeah yeah yo Mercutio!" and instead is a hundred percent likely to be a bigger pussy than some drugged up skank ass ho that also littered the same theater. It was like I was in the theater seeing WoW trolls in person (see The Old Republic rant for my feelings on Wow Trolls if you don't know what they are). It's a shame, the theater used to be a respectable place, instead it's like someone went into the theater with a ray gun, flipped the setting to devolve and went trigger happy.

I tried to adjust the settings in my brain to block out stupid and it worked for about eighty percent of the flick. I am a believer in the paranormal so damnit, I wanted to be focused on the movie, which I was able to and I have to say this movie was very good. Unlike the other two movies where I watched it and didn't really bother to think about future installments., by the time the end of this movie hit I had the urge to look forward to more, whether starting from where the second movie left off or even another prequel revolving around a discovery made near the end of the movie would be just as cool (and I'm not mentioning that discovery due to possible spoiler). It did a real good job of telling the stories of the sisters from the first and second movie and how it all began. I have to say the director/producer of this movie is a genius, he continued to show that you don't need millions and millions of dollars to make a flashy pile of shit, but with a small budget can produce the desired results of a edge of your seat kind of thriller movie.

For as good as this movie was I can't say that it was without flaws, though. Before I mention them I have to mention one thing that can go either way depending on how you look at it. One thing is that about ninety percent of the stuff that you saw on the trailers is not in the movie, or it's been altered in some way. Most of that is really a good thing, for example the previews you see where Kristi mentions that her invisible friend Tobi is right beside her mother then splashes water like a psycho at her invisible friend to show a figure with the water....that scene was replaced with her just talking with her mother and instead they do the reveal of the ghost earlier with dust from the ceiling that came down from an earthquake falling down on the ghost to see the shoulder of the figure before it wove through more of the dust and vanished. Also there is no paranormal investigator that got his head bashed a few times on the table before being flung away, instead we have a comic relief guy named Randy that is a friend of the main male lead (Dennis) that is watching what Dennis reviewed on his tapes and believed what he seen. Also the Bloody Mary seen where you seen a figure after the girls left, that scene was altered with Katie and Randy doing the Bloody Mary scene, and what happened after that was paranormal activity that didn't involve seeing an apparition. You never get to see Tobi, and to me that's a good thing because it messes with your imagination to have Tobi mentally appear to you as something that can easily creep the hell out of you.

Another flaw I felt with this movie is it went more with sudden scares and less with creepy build-ups. I miss the random noises and the rumbling sound from the first movie. In this one we only get some occasional knocking here and there. I am however willing to forgive that as the last fifteen minutes of the movie clearly made up for the lost creepy factor...that was until they were showing off the grandmother's place and there happened to be a antique pony toy and one of the random douchebags in the theater blurted out "A horse?" to which I replied back with a Raul Julia's M. Bison "Of course!". One other flaw that I can think of is just unnecessary scenes, like for instance near the end they do the fast forwarding of the clock to speed up to get to the paranormal activity, then they slow down time just long enough for Dennis to scratch his chest and then speed the clock back up. I looked carefully, nothing happened in that time frame, nothing was out of ordinary, it was just a itch worthy of slowing time? Also most of the mother (Julie)'s scenes I found to be unnecessary...it just seamed to me like she was there to just be a non-believer until near the very end.

As far as the acting goes I believe this was well acted with only a few small scenes here and there being cheesy, and believe it or not the kids provided no cheese whatsoever. They were both very talented. The girl that played Katie in this flick is quite the trooper. If acting is not in her future then I could easily see her down the road as a stunt woman from all the stunts she had to endure.

Summing things up I feel the movie was ten times better then the first movie. The effects were cooler, there were more intense moments and the ending makes you look forward to future installments. Go see it on the big screen, and bring a crowd of friends with you to wrap yourself up in the atmosphere of other audience members that get scared easily for a maximum enjoyment experience. Just avoid going to a theater filled with nothing but tools and don't be one of those people to ruin the movie experience for others like the trolls in my viewing.

Coolstorm's Rating: Category 4 out of 5

Christian Bale and that thing he does with his voice that sounds like gravel in a garbage disposal can piss the hell off. This right here is THE Batman.

It seems like only yesterday I was trying out Arkham Asylum for the first time. I will admit, my expectations weren’t what you would call, high. Matter of fact, I was only interested in this game because they did the right thing and got THE voices for both Batman and Joker in Sir Kevin Conroy and Sir Mark Hamill (PRETTY sure they’ve been knighted). Regardless of their standing with the Queen of England, the second I picked up that game I was in love. The moment that it ended, I wanted more, and I was equal parts scared to death and overjoyed when I learned that they were to be making a sequel. I read all the hype, all the stories that talked about how much bigger this was going to be in comparison to AA, and I felt myself falling prey to the hype. I’ve had my heart broken by sequels before. More times than not, I was left cursing the bastards that tricked me into buying their crappy sequels. But this…this felt different. It felt real…it felt…right. They said this was going to be big, and I wanted to buy it. I wanted to believe. Guess who wasn’t let down? This guy.

As soon as the game starts up, you feel as though you’ve hit the ground running. A mere four months after the events of AA and there you are, posing as one Bruce Wayne, taking a stand politically against a policy that new mayor, Quincy Sharp (name sound familiar? It better!) has instituted: moving the inmates of Blackgate and the Asylum into essentially a demilitarized zone within Gotham. This section has been dubbed..you guessed it…Arkham City. The entire area is being overseen by Dr. Hugo Strange, a crazy old bastard whose motives are a mystery, so yeah this would be a job for the infamous detective Batman. The Dark Knight Is left alone to face the dangers that this fresh slice of hell on earth has to offer. The ally to Bats in the outside world this time around is trusted butler Alfred instead of Oracle, which adds a much better dynamic to the game. Dry humor and sarcasm is quite welcome, to say the least. Alfred aside, to say that Batman: Arkham City had some big shoes to fill would be one hell of an understatement. But as I conveniently foreshadowed earlier…they did a pretty good job of it.

One thing I will say about the folks at Rocksteady is that they know how to show new players the ropes without it seeming as though you are playing a tutorial. Everything you did to become acclimated to the controls were streamlined into where the story was taking us; much like the first game. Matter of fact, anyone that has played the first game will get a feel pretty quickly; essentially it is the same system with a few tweaks and improvements. The one I noticed the most was the use of Detective Mode.

In the first game, Detective Mode was a huge part of getting through the Asylum, and in all honesty it was a cool feature. The downside to it was that while you had it activated you missed out on the really amazing detail that was made for the environment and the enemies that you encountered. Now, the system is still a big part of the game, but you don’t need to have it on constantly if you don’t want to. The henchmen were essentially the same as well, with a few exceptions; some have specialized weapons while others have extra armor and require a different approach to showing them what’s what.

Another really interesting dynamic in this game is the introduction of the Catwoman missions as well as the relationship with other villains that you find yourself working with at some point in the game. It shows a whole other side to the world of Batman, and reminds you why some of the best villains ever to come from the world of comic books heralds from Gotham City.

As I said, you immediately feel as though you are in the thick of things story-wise. You get dropped in this massive war-zone run by criminals and lunatics (or both). The entire city LOOKS huge, but there are limitations to how much you can really explore in the game. For instance, not all of the buildings within Arkham can be entered, but the ones that can are decent sized maps in their own right. It essentially gives you that sandbox feel without actually giving you a sandbox to play in. And if you take into consideration the main story, the side quests, Riddler challenges, and all the other goodies the game has to offer, you’ll be hard pressed to notice that you don’t have the kind of free reign that say a Grand Theft Auto game has.

I won’t lie to you fine people. I’ve had my heart broken by sequels in the past. Dragon Age 2, Force Unleashed 2, Lost Planet 2, hell…even Starcraft II left me a little pissed off. But let me just go ahead and say this. Arkham City doesn’t run with that crowd. No, no….Arkham belongs in a much more refined crowd. Sure, it isn’t perfect, and it might try a little too hard in some areas, but all of that is overshadowed by the fact that the good things about it are done exceptionally well.

If you are a Batman fan, get this game. If you would like a story where you can understand what Bats is saying? Get this game. If you want a title that you’d be hard pressed trading in… You know the drill.

The Breakdown:

The Good:

*The folks at Rocksteady didn’t try to fix what wasn’t broken as far as the feel of the combat system as well as the graphics and art. The Dragon Age folks could learn a little something from THAT.

* Plenty to do in Arkham City, you will most certainly NOT get bored easily.

* The satisfied feeling you get after taking down a gang of thugs and casually grappling up to the next rooftop to do the whole thing over again.

* The main voice actors did a hell of a job with their characters and went a long way to bringing them to life. A Cockney Penguin folks….I have no words to express how cool that is.

* Rocksteady nailed the Batman experience in regards to grappling from rooftops.

* The story feels like a comic arc; I had a few No Man’s Land flashbacks while playing.

The Bad:

* Camera can still be a pain in the ass, and Bats can still move a little stiff, though not as frustrating as it could be in AA.

* The rest of the voice cast. It appears as though the budget was blown on the main characters and then the various thugs and civilians are essentially one or two people. I can understand the need to save money, but it would have been nice if they got some voice actors with a much wider range.

* Boss fights (with the exception of one or two) were a lot easier in Arkham City than in AA. Not a huge negative, but there is a feeling of satisfaction when you take down a tough opponent that you don’t really get with Arkham bosses.

* It feels like they tried to pack TOO much into the game. The number of characters involved, while great from a fan aspect is also a bit of a bummer because of how little time is devoted to a few of them. You can easily find yourself wanting to have more with a character and just not get it.

Numbspoon’s Numeric Value: 9.0/10

So it appears that I can’t avoid this anymore, nor do I really want to in the scheme of things. It’s just, w all know that intos are so terribly, terribly hard and awkward no matter where they happen and online is proving no different. So bear with me in this and we’ll see where it goes. For starters it would seem that I get to be the ‘feminine’ voice in this place, and trust me, girls on the internet do exist and we are not figments of your imaginations. However how ‘girlie’ I am is up for debate. I love my games, role-playing, and zombies just the same as everyone else. I’ll try to keep things short and to the point most times I guarantee yet hopefully they will still be useful. I hang around too many people who speak and live by memes and I hear ‘Too long did not read’ far too much. So without further ado I present a short and sweet review on Mark of the Assassin DLC for Dragon Age 2

First off I have to start off with ‘OMG!! Felicia Day’!!! The woman really does make anything better with just her presence and this was no exception. Though I know a lot of my comrades did not like Dragon Age 2 I really didn’t mind it save for a few plot point that I will not go into for fear of spoilers. When I learned that Ms Day was actually going to voice and play a character in the series my heart went into fangirl overdrive. Tassis, Ms Day’s character, did not disappoint. Her backstory was very interesting and I found that I wanted to learn far more about her then some of the other companions that you have been given in the past games. The connection to the Qun also made my interest in the Quinari’s race and culture far more prominent as well. There was more in this DLC about their background then there was in all of Dragon Age 2 and for a lore hound like me that’s a plus. Another perk of the DLC, Tallis san be romanced! (Come on, you all know you want to!)

As for the Quest itself I fear that Bioware let us down a bit. After their failed attempts at earlier DLC I think they tried to overcompensate in this. Random characters from the past were suddenly tossed into things with no real reason to be there from what I understood and some of the combat in the main boss battle tended to get a bit repetitive to say the least. Understand that I say this from a Mage’s point of view and I unfortunately have not gotten the time to do a second play though as I had hoped in another class but there’s only so many times you can try and go to attack a boss before he jumps away and out of range. It got frustrating enough I feared my controller would find a home in the wall behind the TV. And speaking of frustrations that darn flippy puzzle! There is only so many tiles a girl can flip before she’s tempted to just shove a dagger into the eyeball painted on the floor and finish the art herself. Now unfortunately with video game physics this is not an option and we have to suffer though it (or cheat and ask Youtube) but still. The other puzzles were interesting and a decent change from the usual darkspawn threat.

Beyond the few ‘quirks’ and ‘overcompensations’, Mark of the Assassin wasn’t that terrible a DLC. Its added character had a great story that came along with her and kept at least this girl interested though I have a lot more questions now about Tallis and the Qun. Hopefully they might delve into these at a later date. Here’s hoping because Felicia Day has to be one of the best voices to hear while playing and I’d love to hear more of her wit and humor added with Tallis.

Your daily 2 scoops of corvid ,

-Raven-Bran

Well I'm pleased to present my review for our site and say welcome. However I'm not going to wax poetic about dreams, hopes and other such nonsense because people check reviews to hear about the game and not to listen to someone's wistful philosophy. So without further delay I present Mimic's Grumpy Old Nerds review of Gears of War 3.





One of the first things you'll notice as soon as you start the game is that it looks just like the other two installments only much more clear. The graphics haven't been changed, but have been streamlined to look more like a solid war art that the other two did very well, however this time you can almost notice a consistency of very small tarnish marks on several characters' armor. Which is a big bonus from the first, and even a step up from the second which was visually great, but seemed to be just shy of really believable.

The only reason you even begin to notice is the flashback to the opening shots from the first game. At first I thought it was a throw-back to show off how much snazzier the graphics have gotten, but no. The undercurrent of the plot is set early and driven in like a nail-gun. Marcus has a dream of why he went to prison in the first place. A mission he lead that went so south it ended up in polar Mexico that involved his father.

Now that sentiment is driven home in the first 30 minutes of gameplay and very well written, and even makes you care. However as a fan of the series I couldn't help but wonder if it was just something to fill the gaps of wartime stress since Dom's wife was found in the second game. I wont spoil that moment for those who're new to the series, but the running concern and devotion for two games came to the sort of head that most movies fail to accomplish.

Despite this you'll be invested and believe in the friendships these people have developed over the course of their service together. It's not always on exposition like a Joss Whedon story, but it is told through amazing facial expressions, voice acting, and even some surreal dream-like moments where you know the environment is colored by time to appear like hell on Earth, but stands out as intense and very story driven none the less.

Baird, the most smart-mouthed Cog on the team, is in his usual form. Always shooting off with his mouth faster than the AI can spray bullets from an automatic weapon, but this time he has a comedic foil with a new female team member, Sam Byrne. Originally introduced in the novel Anvil's Gate, Byrne returns fire to Baird's wise mouth so fast that Cole Train is freed up to do what he does best. Scream "Wooh!" at the top of his lungs and treat grenades like footballs launched by Brett Favre in his prime.

With this in mind there is a sequence where you get a glimpse into the life of Cole Train. What could have been short and passed over quickly, became a short but satisfying little oasis in the so-serious carnage. Nothing Oscar worthy, but it made everything else sink in that much more. You really understood how things went straight to the gutter, and you see it from the ever optimistic (and violent) perspective of a former sports hero with a never-give-up mentality that you can't help but get swept up into.

All of this highlights that the shooting, mobile combat and controls have also been kept the same as Gears 2, with a notable exception of streamlining it to make it more smooth after some tweaking to personal liking. In the first Gears it was hard to control, jerky and you had moments where anger at the controller was expected. In Gears 3 you'll have a small learning curve, have to toy with the options, but you'll be kicking ass in no time flat. In fact you can bounce around the map with ease most of the time. Sometimes it's to your best interest to hunker down, pick out targets one at a time and just push them back like tide of death and muzzle flashes. Other times flanking will net you the best results and you'll need to be swift on your feet to get past some of the most dangerous AI the series has ever had.

With the addition of the sawed off shotgun blowing nearly anything to pulpy meat chunks at point blank range you quickly hold off on that guilty pleasure until you need to edge around a sizable force to ruin their day like dropped soap in a prison. Not to mention that there are 'charging' attacks now. Where you can use the chainsaw on the Lancer to impale someone before slamming their still gasping corpse-in-production into the ground. With the over-sized muscles that members like Fenix, Dom, and Cole Train sport it reminds you somewhat of the Incredible Hulk. If the Punisher took over his body.

What should be rehashed a thousand times gets broken up. In the second game the flying sequence was so excellent that they took that feedback and broke up the intense foot-work with some vehicle combat in air, on ground and even under water to make the story flow with the same spew of blood that it does throughout. What should be a campy attempt to make you not get sick of the constant carnage instead brings a gorey, dangerous and sometimes frustrating ride of insanity for one hell of a war-time story of the future. While I appreciate the attention to detail to story, graphics and gameplay, I still have my complaints. Beginning with some of the movement problems.

Even with the movement and cover system streamlined there comes plenty of problems to make it almost as frustrating in sections as the first. Most of it revolving around strange cover. Sometimes the only place to take cover that's not in crossfire is in the worst possible spot. That may be intentional, but carving you way to a better vantage point becomes laborous in two or three parts and you find yourself calling for a medic quite often in later levels if you're not packing enough sawed off shotgun ammo to cut a path to a good flanking possition.

Secondly the shooting controls, as I said, are excellent. They just need to be slightly adjusted to your style of play. The default settings just feel sluggish and strange, but with a few minor tweaks you too can make Marcus Fenix a monster on two feet. However some of this cant be fixed. As good as X-Box is it just cant quite get that precise feeling that a mouse could, and you're painfully aware fast. More so in multiplayer when you're aware of the guy behind you and give the other guy a full second and a half to cut you to pieces.

However this can be a strength as the multi-player experience is as strong as any game can possibly be without giving way to grief-wars and relying in fan made mods. Allowing you to do a split screen co-op or even a 4-man online team up that reminds players of Left 4 Dead's excellent multi-player experience. This go around the team can work together as never before. And any excuse to play as Cole Train is a good thing.

The Horde Mode gameplay is also excellent this time. First introduced in Gears 2, this time it's beefed up by giving you a wide array of monsters and mutant death machines to help take out the surviving human scum. Some of the mutants can't take cover, some aren't even remotely bipedal, and others are clunky and slow. However none of them are weak, and in the right hands can terrorize a battlefield and give even the multiplayer that feeling of the campaign when every sort of creature is out to wreck the last hold outs of humanity.

Some of the story gets corny in places, and feels forced or rehashed, but the moments are brief and by the final push for the end you get the general Gears feeling of wanting to fist pump the air while you reload and scream "Wooh!" while you wade through bad guys with a Schwarzenegger abandon. So I'll have to give this absolute excellent installment credit for making you invested.

It's riveting to see the team just be bonded. Not having to explain why, or try to make art out of it, but the subtle and gruff ways they show affection and understanding with mostly the cutscenes and spattered banter during fights is outstanding. Even in tense moments where most games would bring in the string instruments and give you a sledgehammer of 'you should care' this game takes a step further and continues the smart remarks, puns, and crude denials of anything short of being the toughest damn soldiers to ever exist in the history of mankind.

In short if you're a fan of the series, or even a newcomer to the series, you'll enjoy Gears 3. Even die hard FPS players who insist that if you see the character holding the gun it's for kids will enjoy the strategy, complexity, and violence this installment packs in like Baird packs his 'extra strength' explosives. With difficulties ranging from raw nooby to elite death machine worthy, this game has the ability to actually make your death enjoyable at times, and give you a sense of scale and story that are sadly lacking in far too many shooter games that push multiplayer and give you a campaign as a side note.


The Breakdown:

The Good:

* Smooth graphics make the combat feel fluid and not a static reload and spray event common among some lesser titles.
* The story has it moments that grip you so well you're sometimes on your feet even during cutscenes marveling at how things could possibly get worse.
* Movement controls (after adjustments) can be almost everything you could hope for and more than you'd ever expect from a competitive shooter in this day and age.
* Engaging characters, though is that a surprise for Gears? WOOH!
* Lots of guilty gore, and in this day and age that's worth mentioning.
* Multiplayer is advanced enough to keep you coming back for a while if you're a die-hard competitor, or if you just want to experience an excellent war story with a friend.
* Playing the bad guy was never this much fun anywhere else.
* The final climax was soo good I couldn't sit down. And considering I'd been on my feet for 15 hours before I came home for that last push: That says something.

The Bad:

* Story rides on cliches and rehashes of it's self from time to time, but it wont bog down the overall feel.
* Movement still can be tricky. Not as good as other third person shooters such as Mass Effect 2, and you feel it when the fighting gets intense or you're online in multiplayer. But with lots of practice (and you'll have time) you can over come this.
* Environment issues can make or break a fight, and sometimes you're rewarded for the same behaviors that earlier you were punished for.

Papa Mimic's Score: 9.5/10

Now that the weekend is upon us, and we have digested the goings on of the week.  Do not occupy your time with simply video games and Firefly reruns!  Consider the many questions that swirl around us.  So in the interest of introspection, I present the following questions to study, reflect upon, and if at all possible answer with the number 42. 










1.  Does the Michael Jackson: The Experience video game truly give you the full experience of the late pop icon?  Number one hits, crazy dance moves, failed marriages, child molestation charges, and the abuse of a father that didn't really love you?

2.  How many UK residents that look like hobos have to hunt down kids and strangle them before parents start keeping an eye on what the hell their little bundles of joy are doing?

3.  How do you forgive a friend that got a SWTOR beta invite and you did not?

4.  Is it 10/18 yet?

5.  If you had a Portal gun, would you use it to make it easier to scratch your ass?

6.  Why do we get the urge to play a terrible game when Felicia Day is involved?

Ignore that last one....we already know the answer to that, don't we?  At any rate...ponder these queries, or hell...ponder your own!  Have a wonderful weekend, and keep your eyes peeled over here for upcoming reviews on Gears of War 3, Spider-man: Edge of Time, Batman: Arkham City, and more!

Coolstorm here, and I want to thank Numbspoon for giving me the privilege to talk about MMORPG's, otherwise known as massively multiplayer online role-playing games. I'm here to cover not just the popular one's coming out, but also the free MMO's out there. Yes I do download a few of those from time to time to try to relieve myself of the boredom from waiting for the delays of one major MMO to the next one. Speaking of major MMO's, today I'm going to be talking about the one the majority of the community has been waiting for, that being Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic.

I'm going to start off by offering my opinion on one question. Is this game going to kill WoW (World of Warcraft to the few of you that might be living under a rock...with an internet connection)? My answer is, I certainly hope not. Now before all you anti-WoW people curse me up and down hear me out, for am I on your side. Trust me. I hope SWTOR makes mad profits, however I want World of Warcraft to stay alive as well, so the trolls that are there now can stay there and STAY THE HELL OUT OF SWTOR. Their kind is not needed in Bioware's upcoming MMO. This is where the grumpy old nerd in me comes out and screams "Get off my (trade chat) lawn!" I do not want to see people using trade chat as a general chat. When the entire population did that for World of Warcraft, that was a sure sign that the majority of MMO players out there are nothing but lemmings playing the role of rats and an ape playing the part of the Pied Piper. No, I'm not talking about an ape like Caesar, I'm talking about the kind where if you set them down in front of a monitor, one of the first thing's they'll do is take a shit, then fling it at the monitor. Let's bring nothing but civilized, mature players into SWTOR please though I know something like that is futile as there's always the batch of black sheep or attention whore types with mommy and daddy's silver spoon shoved up there ass no matter the MMO.

Moving on, I have to say I am really looking forward to this game. I know a lot of people are antsy because they pre-ordered the game for early access and beta weekends; which most haven't received that yet, and with the game being scheduled to come out in December 20, 2011, that's leaving very little time left before release. It almost makes pre-ordering just for early access mean absolutely nothing. To me though, even if early access is just for a week or two, if I get past the starting zones with one of my characters before the full launch then I'll be satisfied. I understand that Bioware has been listening to the beta players to try to make things perfect and I applaud them for that as well.

The SWTOR website just posted up a new trailer today showing off all out wars and between the two factions, more stories, and twilek's in slave leia outfits (yes yes, the pathetic perv in me caught that part and screamed out hell yeah!). I am really excited for this game. Though, I also have some concerns about it as well. If this game is treated with the love and care that Bioware had for the Mass Effect series and not Dragon Age 2. This game should be about as grand as they can get. Keep an eye out as I will have more SWTOR to discuss as well as other MMO's in the posts to come.

I get the eye rolling that a lot of gamers do when someone is talking about playing Madden. Hell, I remember shaking my head when I saw that there was a damn reality television program that followed a bunch of douche sacks that wore NFL jerseys and hats that were slightly off center, and would act as though they were uncanny athletes. News Flash to those folks: You were playing a video game. Get over yourself. Despite all of that, I enjoyed picking up Madden and playing through franchise mode and all of that. There were some years that the game was solid, and there were others that....well, you had to sit back and wonder why you spent the money on such a turd.

Madden 12....while visually stunning...feels more like a lesser game than 11 to me and here is the reason why:

1. Gameplay will occasionally lock up for a few seconds. <--- This drives me nuts because timing is EVERYTHING in Madden games, and when you are trying to execute a play and the game just freezes? It throws off the whole play.

2. Commentary <---- The guys on the mic....the whole feature to create the illusion that you are *WATCHING* a game....it is bad. Gus Johnson and Chris Collinsworth appears to have been in the booth for SOME sound bites, and then phoned in the rest. Literally...it sounds like someone recorded them on the phone. On top of that, there are players that have been in the league for at least a year are not identified by name, but by their jersey number. Basically...the commentary took a BIG step backwards to the point where you just want to disable it.

3. Various Glitches <--- This is probably the most irritating of the problems I have with this game. Sure nearly every game has glitches and little hiccups, but it seems like the ones I have encountered with Madden are a bit severe. The one that comes to mind is the most recent I came across: The franchise glitch (still working on the name). This is a problem where you get to a certain week on a season, complete your game....and it will NOT advance to the next week...thus ruining all of the hard work you had put in to building a team, which leads to a barrage of swearing and then you have to start anew and hope you don't screw it up.

Sure...they are just three gripes, and some jersey wearing doofus has most likely heralded this as the greatest Madden game to date...but for me, I'm done. If EA wants to continue to make subpar unpolished football games and expect folks to buy them because there are no other NFL games...let them. Just don't expect to get my money again.