Grumpy Old Nerds

So, once upon a time there was a group of folks who got together, decided to jump head first into the public swimming pool that is...for lack of a better term..."gaming news" and noticed the water was awfully yellow...gross.

Sure, they gave it a go...the old college try if you will...but something never really clicked.  Was it poor planning?  Most likely.  But the days progressed and the posts became few and far between.  Until one day they just stopped.  Bummer.  Oh sure, they still talk to each other.  Hell, they all have a game night once a week.  But the site that was once grumpyoldnerds.com is no more.  It's original home however... the one you are (probably...or probably not if the stats are to be believed) reading on blogspot remains, obviously and shall continue to endure just because. The gang is still grumpy....aren't getting any younger, and last time an official test was given...at least 9/10ths are still nerds.

What does this mean exactly?  Why bother posting after all this time?  Not quite sure, really.  It felt as though the right thing to do.  And to be honest, I think this would be a good place to chronicle some experiences in the rather broad spectrum that is nerd rather than attempt to be another gaggle of douche rockets intent on changing opinions (see Legislative Branch, U.S. Government).  I suppose what this means is, perhaps there is something on the horizon.  Even some postings of sorts, just nothing so ambitious as what this den of snark used to be.  One step at a time as it were.

Oh, one more thing.  Go to hell, Mac Walters.

-Numbspoon.

Before I get into this, I just want to say that just because we are grumpy does not mean we are going to nerd rage and be ridiculous like a lot of the folks have been in response to the ending of Mass Effect 3. Am I perturbed? Maybe...I still don't really know what the hell I am feeling about this, not anger or disappointment, but....I do feel empty. I do understand why folks are upset. Which is why I intend to give my two cents (albeit no one has asked for them, nor I wager are they welcomed) on the matter and why damn near everyone is wrong, including the self-righteous poser douches that fancy themselves artists in the "gaming media" biz. So, before I get to it...let me just say that there be spoilerth ahead. I will distract those of you who have yet to beat the game with a picture of kittens. For those who want to read on...well, fight the urge to keep staring and scroll forth!

There, weren’t they just adorable? Now back to the issue at hand. The first thing I would like to do is to commend Bioware, Casey Hudson, and all the people that were involved in the Mass Effect series. No, seriously. They did a fantastic job. These people managed to make a universe so engaging with characters that people connect with so strongly that when they came up with an ending that the alleged majority did not like, they were attached enough to damn near riot. I think any aspiring writer would wish for even a little bit of that kind of loyalty to a work.

Having said that, I can not say I am really happy with the ending but for much different reasons than the supposed popular one in which the outcome is “too dark”. I honestly expected Shepard to die, and I expected the war to not end as well as any of us would have liked. It is a sad truth of war, they aren’t exactly pretty, neat, or perfect. However, I do feel as though the uproar over the lack of decisions mattering for the player is one in which they have a point. You can not say that all of the choices you make are important when in the end, they really weren’t. It is bad for business. So because of these two things, there is a movement demanding a better ending, which has caught the attention of every asshole with a blog or is in charge of some arbitrary news blip.

There have been some sensationalists who are likening this demand for a better ending to changing Hamlet, or The Great Gatsby. Another bit I had come across stated essentially that it is the public’s misguided sense of the first amendment they feel they have the right to demand that a company bend to their will. It is to these people I’ll go ahead and refer to Dick Cheney. The people do have every right to make these demands, and they have every right to be upset. Belittling that just makes you look like a bigger asshole than I am…bravo. The companies however can choose to ignore the demands as is their rights, so there ya go.

There are however milder stances similar to the Gatsby and Hamlet folks essentially equating to “one shouldn’t try to change a work of art”. Which, yes I get that. I would never want a work of mine to be changed just because someone doesn’t like the ending. There are a few problems with this however.

First, this is not a new thing. Arthur Conan Doyle was given endless amounts of hell because the public hated him for killing off the beloved Sherlock Holmes. He eventually caved and wrote him back to life. I am sure the people who played the Gatsby and Hamlet card would argue that this is totally different. Not really. His vision, his art was changed because of the will of the people, his fans. Despite any of this however, the second thing to keep in mind is that this series has been extremely interactive. You could have a room of 10 people who have played the entire series and up until the end of 3, each one would have had completely different game experiences. They (we, really) arguably shaped the story and made it their (more our….but hey) own. Giving the people this kind of control and then severely limiting it in the final installment is just begging for backlash, plain and simple.

My personal opinion, the ending was dark enough, and I was okay with that, it just didn’t feel completed or very…Mass Effect. What bothered me more were the massive plot holes that my ending seemed to be chalk full of and I had done this ending three times now with every game in the Deus Ex series. I chose option 3, which was to blow up the citadel which would then destroy the Reapers, the Mass Relays, and logically speaking, every other ship in the stars. I unleashed the equivalent of a doomsday EMP blast that covered the entirety of the galaxy. With this ending, I watched as Joker managed to get away and crash on an unknown planet, amazingly enough with Liara (who was with me on the final mission) and other crew members who were on Earth while Joker was supposed to rejoin the fleet. How exactly did THAT happen? Was that just him imagining a happy ending for his friends? It was a little hard to tell, really. Which then leads me to the ending you get only if you have adequate galactic readiness; you know…the split second where you see a body of someone you assume is Shepard because of the N7 tags (who else flaunted that logo in this series, I ask you) gasping for air. How exactly, does a man (or woman) survive an explosion AND re-entry? And where was the citadel debris? I didn’t see any around him, did you?

There are countless theories about the endings on forums all over the place. Which are great, the people are thinking, and I applaud that. However, I am not holding my breath on this one. I get the feeling this is the end we have to deal with, and Bioware is going to have a hell of a time getting themselves out of the proverbial corner they just wrote themselves into. For now, however, I am going to wait and see what happens and what the company says on the matter. But for now, if their intent was to give me the finger and leave me an empty shell of what I once was until something good and pure comes along to bring me back? Mission Accomplished.

I don't think I really need to go into my loathing of the genre again. Anyone that has read anything on this site from me knows how I despise the MMO. The genre brings nothing of value to gaming and if anything it attracts an element that a good chunk of which probably should have been drowned at birth. Harsh? Probably...but I don't care much. Loud, obnoxious people piss me off and that seems to be what MMOs attract the most of.

Having said this, I have fallen in love with Star Wars: The Old Republic. Even had a sweet little love note put together for Bioware thanking them for the offering. Everyone here at Grumpy Old Nerds has in fact been doing almost nothing but logging on to the game and spending literally hours per day exploring the rich environments, the epic class unique stories, and even running flashpoints with friends. The interesting thing is, the rest of the gang are grizzled MMO veterans, having played 3 or more for an extended period of time a piece. I am going at this experience from the approach of an actual game, and am learning the MMO stuff as I go along. Here is the start of my journey.

When I started the game, I approached it from the standpoint of "which story would suit me the best" rather than "what class does the guild need". I honestly did not care what was needed, this was an experience that I wanted to enjoy. If I wanted to have to consider what would be best for an entire group, I'd go back to the office. Pass. So, I selfishly picked the Jedi Knight, mostly because of the story and who wrote it....another thing that I have mentioned on the site (Hi Drew....I love you man). I went along and played my character, and saw the other players as invaders in my experience rather than being a part of something bigger.


When the buzzwords that go hand in hand with MMOs started floating around, I honestly had no idea what they meant and to be frank....when they started seeping in, I got extremely annoyed. At first it was because they were muddying up my GAME with that World of Warcraft bullshit nonsense, but the more I thought about it....it was more because I had no idea what they were babbling about, and I kinda needed to. This was to be sure a rather lofty conflict for me because I loathe the culture that the MMO has created, and yet here I was finding myself needing to learn more about it and....God help me....embrace some if it in order for me to really get the most out of this game that I was only interested in for the story. Logically, I decided to hell with everyone and I stuck to my single player experience, kept my head down and plowed through the game. The quicker I was done, the quicker I could cancel my subscription and be done with all of it, before I started resenting games, friends, Star Wars, and anything else I might have overlooked.

This all worked great until I ran into a proverbial brick wall so massive...so immovable that it knocked me backwards a few hundred yards and gave me a little bit of a concussion. But I'm better now all head my think good is all....uh oh.

TO BE CONTINUED

Follow me on Twitter @Numbspoon

Well, another year, another batch of games to occupy our time.  We here at Grumpy Old Nerds felt that given this was our inaugural year of providing snarky commentary at a semi-regular frequency, we should at least give our favorites of 2011 (NOT named SWTOR).  So, naturally, we thought that the two loudest of the bunch would probably give us a decent list.  Well, they didn't disappoint, that is for sure.  So here now are the top 5 games from our own Mimic and Numbspoon.

Mimic's Top 5 Games of the Year

Gears of War 3

It pushes a solid war story that reminds you of those great WW2 epics while allowing you to be a deranged killing machine.

Batman: Arkham City

It's so well done that you really buy into the fact you're playing Batman himself.  It's not a game made to cash in, it's a game made to make you feel like you're really the dark knight.

Uncharted 3

 It rehashes a few things, but you really get that maturing feeling from the characters.  It shows character growth and doesn't ram it up your ass like a 10 ton hammer.

X-Men Destiny

It honestly was a good game, worth playing, and it can honestly be hours of fun if you stop looking for something to blow your mind.  It's just good on it's own, but 6 playthroughs worth of a game is well worth a high-honor to me. 

Captain America

It's not the movie, but it's sure as shit like you're playing the movie.  You're in WW2, the slang is there, the bad 40s humor is there, the washed out colors, even the style of dress is well done.  And you get to play the ultimate super soldier without trying to defy physics too often.  It was hard to do, but they did it well enough I'd be doing it a disservice by not mentioning it.

Numbspoon’s Top 5 Games of the Year

Portal 2

There was a time when you mentioned Valve and you would either think Half Life or Team Fortress.  So when the first Portal came out as essentially a FPS that did not involve any….well….shooting in the traditional sense, I was skeptical to say the least.  I played it, loved it and wanted a lot more.  Portal 2?  Gave me more.  It is visually engrossing, it makes you think of a solution rather than shoot your way through a problem, and the voice work?  Amazing.  I did not want to miss a single syllable uttered in that whole thing just because of how great it was.  I know we said we wouldn’t go in any particular order….but this is my Game of the Year.  Hands down.


Batman: Arkham City


This game could have easily been my Game of the Year had it not been for Portal 2.  The people behind this budding franchise have done what so many before them were incapable of doing: making good Batman games.  They got writers that know the subject matter, they got voice talent that is passionate about the characters as well as their own work, and it shows in every second of game play.  This is one that you should be giving a try even if you are not a fan of the Dark Knight simply because of how well done a game this is.


Uncharted 3

I am going to level with you all; the Uncharted series is the biggest reason why I own a PS3.  Like the two before it, Uncharted 3 tells us a great story, shows some character development and gives us some insight into what we could be seeing next from our pal Drake and company.  If Spielberg and Lucas are thinking about making another Indiana Jones movie, they need to stop what they are doing and pay attention to what Naughty Dog has put together with Uncharted.  Take notes, boys because these cats can write CIRCLES around you all.

Deus Ex: Human Revolution

This one to me is a pick wrapped in nostalgia.  The first of this series was easily one of my favorites back in the day.  Invisible War was disappointing and I was afraid the franchise would die because of it.  Then Human Revolution finally came out and I have to say, it makes up for Invisible War and it was an enjoyable time.  Though, I do suggest that this one be played on the PC as the console experience isn’t as….rewarding.

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations

Okay, look.  Some person on the staff….I won’t name any names but for the sake of argument I will just call them Spanky…hated this game.  Which is fine, it wasn’t the best of the franchise, I’ll admit.  But the multiplayer is without a doubt, one of the most fun experiences I have had online via a console game.  And the continuation of the Desmond Miles story was what I really enjoyed.  It wasn’t anything new in terms of game play, but if you consider that Ubisoft has been cranking these AC games out every year, it is truly hard to expect drastic changes.  Regardless, I liked the game and it is certainly worth a look.


So, there you have it.  Thanks to the guys for giving us their selections and hopefully we’ll get some more insight into the year that was 2011 before we’re through.  Keep your eyes peeled from more from us in the years to come, and those of you that do visit the site, we just want to take this opportunity to say thank you for the support and don’t stand in the grass.  Just mowed it and she’s fragile.   

Well I blew the 12 days of Christmas riff. Not entirely my own fault. Holidays sort of sucked my life away. Between work, spending time with my son, more work, and trying to get things done around the house in preparation for Christmas... I sorta didn't get to do what I wanted. So I'm sorry. There. I said it. Never again, though. So take this as everybody gets one, and you just got yours.

However I feel like I should post something now that work and life have slowed down, and what better thing to post than a review of The Old Republic's Jedi Knight? Now in the beta weekend I played a Knight, and I reviewed the Bounty Hunter's story for the site here because I felt it was due a lot of praise for how well it was handled. Now that I'm actually getting some playtime into TOR, I wanted to do the same for the Knight, but with a more expanded venue. So with some spoilers in coming, I'm here to review Act 1 of the Jedi Knight.

Story

As you start off your character has handed on Tython, the new home of the Jedi Order, and is suppose to begin his trials to become a fully fledged Jedi Knight. However the academy is under attack from local primitives now armed with blasters, and doing a pretty good job of stressing out the blaster deflection skills of the Jedi Order. Not to mention attacking and killing Padawans fairly regularly.

So you are thrown into helping since you're one of the most advanced students while the more advanced Jedi Knights are doing more heroic things. This... leads to a long road. Not because you're a chosen one, or that you're so extraordinary that the stars bend to your will, but because your story follows you being in the wrong place at the right time repeatedly. You're a hero, to be sure, but you're not some crusading uber-Jedi. You're just the guy who the Force picks on to do the dirty work. And it shows.

From helping save padawans from flesh raiders, to helping a local Twi'lek village with their issues, to unlocking secrets from the ruins of Tython (swarming with old droids), you just happen to be where you are needed. Really given credence to the whole "will of the Force" thing. In fact this whole planet may be a bit bland, but it's the sort of non-galactic threat that makes it more entertaining. You're not saving all of creation, your just doing something good (or maybe bad) with your own back yard. Of this: I approve.

Afterwards you go on to Coruscant to begin, what I like to call, the decent into hell. Not because Coruscant is bad, in fact it's really entertaining. From helping a guy find his kidnapped girlfriend, to resolving corruption in the Senate, there are dozens of things to do and not a lot of it really seems to affect the galaxy as a whole as an impending doom hanging over someone's head. It's the sort of thing you expect Jedi to do when they're not on some super task they write novels about.

However at the end you seal your own fate by facing down a Sith Lord who stole super-weapon plans and was nice enough to e-mail them to his dad. A REALLY high ranking Sith Lord you'll know well if you read the Deceived novel. Darth Angral. Now... let me make this clear, here. You were just doing a random assignment and you were just the closest one to the issue when things broke bad. Not that they thought a ranking Jedi Master couldn't do it and you could, but you were sort of the Obi-Wan Kenobi of this scenario. You were the only hope. The only one who was close enough.

After killing this Sith in front of Daddy and his home-boys (a whole group of Sith Lords) you've now got a mark on your head. One you keep finding as you travel from planet to planet to recover the Super-Weapon data that was stolen while the Masters take on more dangerous worlds. So they're not at the sidelines, in fact they give you the light work. Again: You're not Jedi-Jesus. Keep this in mind.

With every planet you get to face down another of the pantheon of Sith Lords. All of them are right royal bastards in their own right, and all of them want you dead because Angral says so. But does this really feel heroic? The short answer: Damn right it does! Through the play you never feel like you're some Chosen one, or that you're some unstoppable juggernaut who can do what the Jedi Council cant (though from time to time you can), and as you get closer to the end of the act every boss fight has more and more twists behind it. Mechanics or story, it doesn't matter. The fights aren't just "beat x guy down", there's something going on. It's not like Luke trashed Vader by standing in 1 spot and doing a rotation, you actually fight it out by knowing when to dodge and sometimes when to just hit them extra hard. And often times things get pretty interesting.

All of the fights are memorable, and you get exiting dialog of some sort every time. So it's not a "he's dead, go turn this in" sort of thing, you actually get invested in how things played out. And that's not including the fact that there is at least 1 Sith Lord you can turn into a Jedi. Yeah... I said it. JEDI SITH PUREBLOOD! But I digress... The story sometimes pulled me forward so much I had to leave to go level just to have a prayer of seeing what happens next. You wanted to keep going. And honestly it's just that good. There is no doubt in my mind that this story is so well written it could have been a series of novels and people would have read them gleefully. I know I would have.

Even David Hayter's voice not sounding like his usual Solid Snake didn't slow me down. At first I may have been disappointed, but after a while it grows on you. So much so that if I goof around on a Consular (voiced by the wonderful Nolan North) I feel like he's just too loud. And honestly those moments where ole Dave smarts off with a snarky comment are priceless. He doesn't do things by half, that's for sure. Like telling a "Jedi Killer" that he thought he'd be taller, or cracking a joke with a soldier about which way the gun points, it's well done, even if it takes a little while for it grow on you.

Game Play

This is where things get bad, kids. Not that I don't love the gameplay myself, it's great. But mechanics... ey. Let me start by saying you get a lot of tools in your kit to handle a lot of situations. Damage from built focus points, damage on cooldowns, tanking cooldowns, stun removers, knock backs, channeled damage abilities... you have a sizeable kit. And you can work through a lot of various issues. The problem is one of two things depending on your advanced class.

I've played a Maurader (Sith's version of a Sentinel) and my most beloved character a Jedi Guardian specced for Vigilance. However if you're a dual weilder you're squishy. And I mean REALLY squishy. Pretty much anything can blow you in half, so you have to hit hard, hit fast, and pray to God it dies before you do. On the other side the single saber... well it doesn't hit very hard. You can live through a long LONG string of betting pummeled, but you don't have the power behind you to cause massive damage. So you're slowly dying while barely scratching a boss.

And I've had some pretty epic last stand saber fights, I admit to that. But the talent tree for the Guardian doesn't get interesting until later levels, making all the early choices barely able to keep up with current content, much less shine. Now I'm the first to say I don't want easy content, but I don't want to be button mashing and praying for the stars to align so I can manage that perfect crit streak to win. There has to be a happy medium. And so far it's just not there.

The game is just out, it was released early (they admitted to that) and I hold out hope. So there will be no class changing for me, but throughout Act 1 I felt lack-luster. My story was so good it kept pulling me on, but by gameplay was horrible. Often times so bad I wanted to punch a wall and scream when I had to out level my class quests by 5-ish levels to have a chance to beat certain bosses. And I wont lie... I called in backup from a friend a few times. He wrecked all my stopping points with minimal effort, and I felt good for progressing along this amazing story, but I felt terrible because I needed help to do it. So you can see where a lot of mixed emotions come in with this game.

The Verdict

Between a lot of polish needed, some balancing required, and honestly just some bad design choices, this class is fun. You may want to bring a friend as you take on those big story fights to help you along, but you'll never feel like you're shorted on pure cool factor. If you're wanting a PvP review then I'm not the guy to talk to. I'm a very casual PvP player and honestly I may be good at being the underdog in a PvP match, but this class lacks to compete without support in PvP. At least from what I've seen so far.

People will cry foul for me smashing the difficulty, but you ARE talking to a guy who plays all his console games on easy for a reason. When it comes to this class, I think you'll have fun, and if you can get past Tython, get your ship and apprentice, then you're in the golden age. However just keep in mind that you'll have to be patient with it. Time will bring it where it needs to be, but until then? Enjoy the ride. And some day you can look back at newer Jedi Knights and say, "I beat Act 1 before the nerf bat sent it into orbit!"

And that's always a good thing.

Papa Mimic's Final Score: Under Construction

Never score something that's a work in progress, folks. And this class is just that: A work in progress. When things change (or Act 2) comes along I'll throw you another review, but until then enjoy your gaming, and I hope you had a great Christmas and a safe New Years.

Do we really need to say it?  We have only been going on about it since the last Beta weekend.  We've been spending as much time as we can there rather than working on this site, which...we are sorry.  But come on....you'd do the same thing if you were us.  But you really are going to make us say it.  Well, fine.  What we're looking forward to this week?  Is this:


That's right.  FINALLY!  This game has been eating away at us for months, YEARS even!  And finally it is upon us.  We have been loving this (mostly) and hope to continue to do so for some time after the "newness" wears off.  This, could have easily been the best game of this year, and next year for that matter....time will tell won't it?  So for those of you who have enjoyed the early release time?  Congratulations and keep up the good work in there.  The community, outside of a few issues has been great.  As for those of you who haven't picked it up yet?  Give it some thought.  It isn't your idiot neighbor's MMO.

Normally by now most people don't have their shopping done. You should, but most of you don't. You'll wait till the last second, praying for that perfect item to come in stock, or that sale on the item you want to get for someone (but don't want to fork over the cash). And every year you tell yourself "I'll have it done early next year." But do you ever? Well some do, I admit. But most of you? Nah. You're like me and slack off till the last second.

Fear not! For I have come to help you pick out gifts that most likely haven't been thought of, asked for, and fit into a small budget. These gifts may not fit your intended hopeful every time, but I'm here to review and suggest items to help out you last minute shoppers hoping to get what they want. Now this is in addition to the wonderful reviewed items we've done here. I couldn't recommend a copy of Gears of War 3 enough for a gamer. But they may already have that, or you can't fork over $60 for a friend in this economy.

So starting today I'm going to throw out three movie ideas for your movie lover. Different genres, and to be fair it's not the sort of thing most people think about right out of the gate. So without further pimping I present to you Papa Mimic's First day of Christmas (shopping).

Everyone has that friend who's into the sort of movies that seems absolutely outrageous. Or maybe you're like me and you like twisted concepts because they're fresh (or somewhat fresh) and they appeal to you. However there are few classic movies with that sort of feel. Every so often someone makes a movie with a concept that cannot be repeated. And in moments like these there is only one true movie that stands out: The Crow.

Sure it's well known for being the movie that killed Bruce Lee's son. Hell, it's also filled with images that make you question if perhaps the director was a closet Emo, but there's no denying this movie was good. It may be strange, it may be violent as hell, but it really expanded the concept of what could happen if you tried to fuck up someone's happy ending. This movie has been one of my favorites since it came out, and now it's out on blueray. So HD undead men with swords and guns who heal instantly? Yes please.

You can pick up a copy of this movie for less than $20, and even at your local Wal-Mart if you don't feel like being a pro and going Amazon or to a more major retailer like Bestbuy. Honestly for a Blue Ray this is a decent price, and considering the movie has endured well through the years on it's own, the face lift only makes it more accessible to your big movie fan who might enjoy a movie made before the Star Wars prequels.

The next movie on the list isn't actually a movie. It's a series. Now most people probably just flinched. A season of a series can go for as much as $80 without breaking a sweat. Entire series have gone as high as several hundred dollars. However you can get a complete series for a sci-fi show many consider to be the most under rated classic in history for a mere $26 if you catch it at the right place at the right time. AKA: Amazon right now. The series I mean? Firefly.

Originally a blend of Science Fiction meets a western, this show bombed in ratings quit simply because Fox is run by idiots. They rushed the show long and killed it by the time they were 10 episodes in. However the DvDs have a 12 episode list, and is a great distraction for anyone who has become a fan of Nathan Fillion from his work on Castle. In fact the show has made so many small nods (and sometimes big ones) to Firefly that it's no hard transition for even that crowd to enjoy this show.

And if they like it they'll probably fork over even more cash themselves to get the movie. However this is a great series that really is worth the time, and I'm sure you'll know someone who'll love it this holiday season. So if you can't afford a season of Castle or you just know a nerd who needs some love: There you go.

My final pick is for comedy fans. I figure we've covered gritty, science fiction with some action and some comedy, but what about the laughs?! Well I got you covered. Most people may not have seen this pick, which is sad. It's popular in that George Clinton the Parliament Funkadelic sorta way, but not in the Beiber sorta way (thank God). If you know someone who's sense of humor is somewhat crude, or if they just love people like Ryan Reynolds, then might I suggest 'Waiting'.

A movie about a day in the life of a crew who works at a restaurant, puts up with their own small life issues, and try to have a good time despite it. So if you know someone who works at even McDonalds, goes to college, or maybe just likes the idea of a cast FILLED with stars (I dunno how they afforded it) then they'll enjoy this one. And you may want to spread this word. Because Reynolds does state the cardinal rule of eating out: Don't fuck with the people who make your food. You have been warned.

That's today's gift ideas, and tomorrow I'll hand you some more. I do take ideas on a type of gift, so if you're stuck and need some advice, I'm here for you. And remember I'll be doing these once a day until Christmas it's self. And on Christmas day... well no more gift ideas (cheap bastards) but I'll throw you a little fun. So this is Mimic wishing you a safe and happy holiday season, and saying good night.

~Mimic