Grumpy Old Nerds

Like so many of our fellow gaming nerds I spent turkey weekend playing the semi-open beta to The Old Republic. And like fellow contributors Numbspoon, Coolstorm and Ravenbran, I spent most of that time on ventrillo shooting the shit, comparing notes, and all in all enjoying this well put together game. However I noticed several levels of interest even among us die-hards. And since I've seen several varying levels of satisfaction with the game from other people. However take heart, I have come to rot your brains with an opinion article based on the class I wont be playing at launch (but not for lack of interest mind you).

After the Beta several of the guild members we have had expressed different oppinions on what they wanted to play. This is well and good because they got to test drive the cars so to speak and really see what fit them. Myself I spent more time playing the class I'll still roll first on Republic side (Jedi Knight) than the Empire's Bounty Hunter, yet I felt that this beta had such a profound effect on my oppinion on the class alone it was due it's own article. So without further adue Papa Mimic presents his beta experience of TOR: The Bounty Hunter.

First of all let me tell you a story. When Bounty Hunters were announced I assumed every Fett wanna be from here to kingdom come would roll one and throw around with two pistols and a flamethrower while chanting in general chat "He's no good to me dead..." I was not excited for this class and honestly had no interest in even giving it a second look. There was a by-God Jedi to play, and you midichlorian deprived bastards could get to the back of the line where you can cry about how I deflect your blaster bolts without looking.

However after seeing that the Bounty Hunter got a jawa companion... well I got intrigued. That was no fair. A jawa with a rocket launcher, you say? Epic is not strong enough a word. Chuck Norris with a Death Star belt buckle didn't cover the badassitude of said companion, so when I got my weekend beta access I figured I was due to see if the Bounty Hunter could keep my attention long enough to recruit the little psychopath and enjoy the endless conversations with a squeeze-toy armed with extinction level hardware. Because nothing says 'bad day' like getting blown up by a midget in a dirty robe packing a shoulder cannon.

I went into the class, even it's opening cutscene and dialog before getting to move around and such with the idea it would be a huge gimmick. Lots of toys, hardware and a love of credits and possibly a loyalty to the Empire to solidify them as a darkside character. In fact looking back on the first four or so levels, my bad attitude towards Bounty Hunters was preconceived and entirely dependent on the jokes I'd made when I first heard about them being a playable class for one faction. So yeah... I was not thrilled. In fact I expected it to be sorta like this:



Instead after I got into the story and really let the dialog sink in after a pretty powerful scene (which also happened to be beautifully scored with some great music) I came to a realization. I was not, in fact, reliving the early adventures of some Fett ancestor. I was not recreating Canderous Ordo or Dengar or even Durge. I was forging my own story one step at a time that had little to nothing to directly do with the Empire. In fact the whole Imperial association is sort of out of my character's hands as it ties him to it in order to get revenge. How much did my opinion change? Well by about level six my mind changed the movie poster. It looked more like this:



That's right, folks. I had stepped out of the cliched credit hungry super gunner ideal of a Bounty Hunter and walked into the lonely road of a well written western. Just one that happened to be in space. My character was better than the rest, but he had to prove it. He came from nowhere, had everything taken from him, and thanks to my dialog choices he was hell bent on revenge. But along the way he wasn't an evil man. He was, in fact, a good man. One who remembered that even the worst criminal was sometimes a victim of circumstance more than desire to be a petty bastard.

With the gruff voice and very underworld feel of working for the man (or Hutt) who owned the town and everyone in it, I felt like I was in some sort of space aged Clint Eastwood movie. One that showed what one person had to do to get even with the big bad guy (or his big bad guy) and even then in the scheme of things it didn't matter. This was just one man's story, and it made it all the more powerful because of that. You aren't saving the galaxy, you're just trying to get some peace. And you have to do some pretty ugly things to attain it.

How many levels did I play, you ask? A mere eleven and I already got that feel. Right up to traveling to the second planet in the game's series where you're quest leaves the small town where it all began to meet the larger world head on. This feeling was not trivial by any means, and I found myself not caring if I got the Jawa over the weekend. This was a well written and wonderfully scripted story that I would actually have liked to see in a book or movie, but being able to play it as a worn do-gooder or a maniacle bastard just added something.

Say what you will about lightsabers (and I will have one launch day) but the Bounty Hunter shows that writing doesn't have to be about galactic threats to hold your interest. In fact it doesn't have to be anything really big other than the drive of one determined man. This I found to be the diamond in the ruff of all the class stories I sampled. Despite numerous quests related directly to KOTOR, and telling the story of what happened after Revan was long gone, I still found myself imagining a murky and slimy world filled with desperate people and one man who flew in on a rusty old ship.

Through the beta I also played the Jedi Knight (level 20), Sith Warrior (level 10), Sith Inquisitor (level 11), and tried the Trooper out, but didn't get very far. As wonderfully crafted as all the stories were, I have to say how much I liked how wonderful places like Coruscant and Taris looked. They had a unique feel and the quests delved not only into the idea of killing ten bad guys and bringing back their left pinky toes, but of actually feeling like there was a reason to go out and take on the galaxy.

All in all Star Wars: The Old Republic is most likely the MMO you'll love if you like story. If you want to rush forward to get to end-game content I recommend DC Online for that sort of thing, but TOR offers something new and different in that you can enjoy your favorite RPG with friends. Will this game stack up to it's hype? Well that's for you to decide, but ole Papa Mimic feels that it has more than earned it's credit not with the dynamic hero feel of the Jedi Knight, or even the conquering destroyer of the Sith Warrior. But of the story of just one guy with no past I can't help but see walking through a dusty planet out of sight.

That's all I got time for, but stay tuned for other articles about our weekend experiences, and as always remember to have your Grumpy Old Nerds spayed or neutered: Only you can control the Grumpy population.

~Mimic

When I saw Halo CE on the list, I was hoping that I was to be reviewing a game called Halo: Cooking Exalted. The protagonist would be Master Chef Bobby Flay and his mission would be to rescue key leaders in the Catholic Church with his ability to cook divine meals. The whole thing would have played out as Diner Dash meets the Da Vinci Code. I WANTED it to be that. Anything, ANYTHING but another damn Halo game. If that was the case I was absolutely willing to go get ABBA: You Can Dance and review that just so I didn't have to deal with the ridiculous bullshit nonsense that comes with this franchise. But, NOOOOO. I am not lucky.

So instead of something new and different, we get yet another addition to the slew of toys, videos, books that cut into the shelf space of Star Wars literature at my local Barnes and Noble, oh yeah and all 7 (going on 8) video games. You remember when Halo 3 was supposedly the last we were going to see of the series? And then they put out what....2 others and have announced a 4th on the way? Glorious. Just glorious. So with these games, we are also getting a steady supply of Halo. And since Bungie is now owned by Activision...a name synonymous (NOT REALLY) with quality, we are likely to see at least 20-30 more, whether they are good or not. I'm going to go ahead and put my money on the whole....NOT thing. HOW EXCITING, Right?

Hell, even as I am writing up this review they are finishing up the storyboard for Halo 12: The Search for Spock. But hey, whatever, right? Let's just go ahead and review this sucker before that stroke I've been warned about finally kicks in.



The premise of the game is that you are a human cyborg or a cyborg human, I really wasn't paying that much attention to the particulars. Anyway, this Master Chief guy comes in and starts running around shooting people and yelling like one of those frat kids that you see in Revenge of the Nerds. (Quick little side bar here....playing just Madden and Halo does not make you a gamer. It makes you a douche.)

ANYWAY, Master whatsis saves the planet or the diamonds or the princess or whatever through the magical combination of running jumping climbing trees....and shooting things. I just thought of something though. Perhaps this Master guy is one of those action transvestites that Eddie Izzard was talking about all those years ago.

In all seriousness this game is the same as it was 10 damn years ago. They just improved the graphics and slapped it in a shiny new box. And you bought it. Congratulations Halo fan: you've just been George Lucased (See definition 1). I am sure most people in the business of reviewing games are going to give this a nice chunky score, but not me. Call me when you people do something new with the genre and we'll talk. Until then? Same old same old isn't it? But with that.... screw it, let's just go on to the Break Down.

THE GOOD

• It wasn't another Mario game....so there's that.
• The graphics are greatly improved so it DOES look nice.
• Controls are pretty much typical of your run of the mill shooter.
• It gives some people something to do before SWTOR comes out.

THE BAD

• The shooter genre is tired, lame, and RIDICULOUSLY redundant.
  
• Launching a remaster of a 10 year old game doesn't help either.
• Another in a long line of games that are absolutely irritating.
• The remaster job looks pretty, sure...but graphically it looks like crap compared to the last Halo game: Reach.
• This probably means we'll get hit with more books and movies. ...Great.

Numbspoon's Numeric Value: 5.0

A BIT OF A DISCLAIMER. I know we have been hard on the FPS games we have reviewed here, and it is easy to, based on that, draw the conclusion that we hate them. Not true. We have been fans since the original Wolfenstein. We just feel as though the genre has become over saturated and because of that, the products have suffered greatly. So...since no one else is going to say it we will. FIX IT!

So, nothing worthwhile in the world of movies this week.  As for video games....I dunno....maybe EyePet and Friends?  Mario & Sonic at the London 2012 Olympic Games?  OOH!  How about...ABBA: You Can Dance?  Not even close.  Actually, there are several titles that have our interest...one of which is the extension of one of the most successful franchises in gaming today.  So without further adieu....let me introduce the first of what we're looking forward to this week.
















In all honesty?  I think some of us here at Grumpy Old Nerds have been looking forward to this game since it was announced.  There is something about this series and the story that gets me hooked and loves running around knifing corrupt politicians, thieves, you name it.  This will be the last installment that will feature the Italian killing machine Ezio, and frankly that is fine by me.  He helped move the story along, and now it is high time we change the focus to the modern day descendant: Desmond.  Will it be good?  Great question.  Our own nutritious Raven-Bran will be providing the answer to that one!
















Yeah, Saints Row: The Third doesn't exactly do it for ALL of us here at the site, but I'd be lying if I said that it doesn't interest us.  I mean, it looks like Grand Theft Auto and Fear and Loathing in Vegas had a baby.  Which....that could be idiotically entertaining.  If not, what do ya do?  Just another train wreck in the long line of train wrecks that THQ has given the world.  But it could be worse.  It could be....















SON OF A BITCH!  Seriously?  I thought there wasn't going to BE anymore of this game?  No way in hell are we looking forward to this.  Oh it gets worse, too!  We're actually going to have a review for this?  I feel sorry for the poor shmuck that has to write it.  Numbspoon?  Oh, that's me....damn it.  I take it back.  We are looking forward to ABBA: You Can Dance.

Earlier in the month, DC Universe Online was announced as being free to play. While it is cool to have another MMO free to play there is another MMO that had an official launch on September 28th called Dragon Nest. So which is the better one to play? Well honestly if you have time for both or are playing a better MMO then the two mentioned, more power to you. However since these two MMO's are so close together in releases, I am going to pit these two against each other and give you my opinion on which is the better one to play. I am going to pit the two freebies against each other in gameplay, graphics, sound, and overall fun factor. So without further adieu, lets start off this battle.

We'll start off with the sound category. This I'll give the edge to Dragon Nest as the sounds of connecting with the enemies and connecting with an object are a lot better. I feel like DC Universe Online's sound effects could have been a lot better if they actually wrote out the sound effects along with your moves like the Adam West days of Batman. It just sounds off, for example, the sound effect of flinging a punch sounds like your flag being swung as fast as possible, another example is an acrobatic taking big strides create a woosh sound instead of actually hearing feet hitting solid ground. Dragon's Nest on the other when you hit a barrel, it sounds like you connected with a barrel, and breaking it you get the sounds of shattering wood and swinging a flail (which glad to see as a weapon in a game by the way) sounds like a flail being swung.

Next part of the sound category is music and voice acting. The music in Dragon Nest is ok but quite common for the fantasy MMO. If you don't understand what I mean, I'm talking about the folksy festival music that almost sounds like you should be clapping your hands to a gypsy dancing circles around a bonfire or that sounds like a flute away from being a legend of zelda song. The music side for DC Universe Online is a bit bi-polar, some places like the police headquarters/nightclub places (yes you heard me police headquarters and night clubbing are apparently one in the same in this game...) deliver such horrible music that sounds like a techno version of elevator music while other places like outside in Gotham City, the music is well orchestrated and almost sounds like the start of the Batman theme. If only Metropolis had the same care as outside of Gotham City...I would have loved to have flown around in a knock off version of the Superman theme. Even though DC Universe has some bad music I do like that it strays from the common MMO music, so that's why DCUO gets the edge there, leaving it down to just the voice acting to determine the winner.

The voice acting for Dragon Nest is ok, but there's no voice you hear in the game that you will actually recognize and fan-gasm over. I read up that the asian version of the game gets Gackt as a voice actor, which Gackt to me is a talented enigma, but that doesn't help us with the U.S. version of this game. The Voice acting for DCUO, all I have to say is "Hey Kids! It's Mark Hamil! Applause!" (A Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back reference to those that didn't get it). That's right, Mark Hamil as The Joker, and various other voice actors from the actual animated series put there voices into the game to enhance the gaming experience. That's a win, and that's why in this category DC Universe edges out over Dragon Nest.

Onward to gameplay! Both games have the same mechanics in that left mouse click is your basic attack, right click is a stronger attack, and then you have the number keys for your various powers and skills you earn. I have to say I give the edge to Dragon's Nest on this because Dragon's nest if you actually hold your left mouse button down you can pull off your four hit combo, there's that and I haven't ran across problems with my moves not registering, where as DCUO is so fast paced that sometimes where your combos involve alternating which mouse button you click, it doesn't register the exact combo you are trying to pull off. I also feel that DCUO also hurts itself with the energy bar and having to recover it by unleashing combos on your target. I understand the argument of "some of the heroes and villains don't use there powers often" which is true but in the case of needing heals and needing your defensive abilities, I find this to be a huge pain in the ass. Also a pain in the ass with DCUO is the boss battles. You will never have a easy boss battle which I can understand the need for back and forth fights making the whole comic thing more authentic but when you can unleash all of your abilities and attack as fast as you can and you still only end up whittling about half of the boss's bar down before he completely destroys you is absolutely cheesy. Also, it makes the battles look horrible with both the boss and you flailing at each other, it looks like two fish out of water flapping against each other (which doesn't look any better with a friend helping out...just looks like more fish flapping against each other). Dragon's Nest fights are smooth and the boss battles are less challenging thanks to having an actual mana bar and the bosses actually taking there times telegraphing moves having patterns like any boss in a video game would so you can fight them stress-free, unlike the DCUO bosses that have no predictability and then rushing up and zerging you.

Onto graphics, I feel like the edge once again has to go to Dragon Nest. DCUO's animation in it's fast paced combat I find to be too choppy, and sometimes the animation of the energy attacks do not appear on the screen, for example the Hand Blaster types have a combo where they charge up a beam of energy, then after connecting with that form a big ball of energy over head and toss it at the target, but sometimes the ball doesn't show and you just have a over head flinging motion, though it still registers that the move connected. I have not experienced that kind of problem with Dragon's Nest and all of the moves have a smooth complete animation behind them. Both graphic wise are cartoony, which doesn't bother me one bit, though I feel Dragon Nest is a lot more colorful and livelier.

On to the topic of Fun Factor. DCUO does deliver when it comes to the inner child at first, having your child hood heroes or villains speaking to you and giving you quests and thanking you for your help (or thanking you for not being incompetent in the villains case). Sometimes getting a chance to actually fight alongside your favorite heroes was epic. I remember doing the battle of Smallville helping Superman fight Doomsday made me giggle like a school girl. However there is some moments where I just wished some of the chain quests could be skipped over and go straight into the fight, like the starting area for Superman, I just wanted to go "Ugh, can't I just go punch Gorilla Grod in the face now?" Circe and Wonder Woman's entire quest arch I found completely annoying as well. Another thing I find weird about the game is you fight the boss, then defeat them, then you get the cut scene on why that particular character wants to rule the world or defend the city, etc. Shouldn't the cut scene be before defeating them to add more impact to the story?

Dragon's Nest though I'm finding more entertaining. Mainly because it has cut scene driven storylines that at the moment seems to be going from the start of the game till the very end (I can't confirm that though since while I did level cap in DCUO, I'm only at level 18 out of the US cap of 32 at the moment). This leads me to one gripe and it could be said for the majority or maybe all of the MMO's so far. Why do they make your character seem so incompetent? It happened with World of Warcraft: Catacylsm where every new zone you went into led to you being knocked out or captured and it's like, ok I helped slay Ragnaros, Illidan, Lich King, but I get knocked out in a cut scene by non-elites of my level? What the fuck?! This game almost made me think otherwise at first because one cut scene a enemy in the game was tossed over to the boss and you just walked into the scene. I was like "Sweet! Change of pace!", but from that point on for the next three boss battles afterwards you get knocked out...and then a few levels later you end up getting bullied and then rescued by someone that deems you worthless and considers you a slave...it's like geeze this game is the worst then Final Fantasy XI in making you feel like you have a worthless character, and in that game your major enemy for 40 + levels is onion creatures, rabbits, bees, worms, and crabs...crabs that take 5 other people to kill! What the fuck Square-Enix?! Despite the worthless seeming character the game's story, graphics, and smooth gameplay just made this game more enjoyable to me then DCUO.

Just because I declare Dragon Nest the winner doesn't mean DCUO is horrible, and honestly both of them can use some major improvements in certain areas. Both of them can use improvements in customization, especially Dragon Nest since there's only a single digit amount of hair styles, clothing styles and colors that you can pick. Also gaining costume looks is rare in Dragon Nest unless you spend actual cash but earning levels do give you the gifts of obtaining different costume pieces that only last for a couple of days, so wait until you get the full set before using them all. DCUO needs to do the same, while it does have a variety of outfits it really needs to gain a lot more, I recommend taking a look at the customization of City of Heroes. While I do like the fact that there's extra styles to earn through quests and missions, there need to be more styles to gather in game, and not just through tokens to earn special armor, like using the currency that you currently only spend on sodas (your health potions so to speak) to devote to clothing. Also DCUO really needs to focus on boss mechanics, please look at other MMO's on how to do a boss battle as the bosses shouldn't be recklessly flailing on you with you defeating the opponent determined almost by a matter of luck. Dragon's Nest I want to feel like when I'm playing a MMO that I am playing a hero not an incompetent idiot, but saying that and I'm uncapped I hope the character redeems himself, he really needs to. Also the party mechanic is pretty terrible. You can only party up in the closest town before you go a few screens over to go into the appropriate dungeon portal. Why in the world can you not just find the party before the portal? I can understand trying to make the traffic in the game easier, but would it be that congested? Could you not keep the single player pathways and just have the portals end up linking together if your partied up and go through the portal so you can come out the same end?

So to end things off, they're free. So give both DC Universe Online and Dragon Nest a try and let me know what you think of both. I still do play both but I am playing Dragon Nest more. If you play Dragon Nest, feel free to find me on the Argenta East Server under Woowuo the paladin, or Alraphise the acrobat. On DCUO you can find me on the PVE server under Tenthmandown. Now to sum up and rate everything below.


DC Universe Online - Pros: Authentic voice actors of the animated series interact with you by assigning you the quests. Mark Hamil being a mentor as The Joker is pure win.

Interacting with the heroes and villains that you know from your favorite DC Comics and in some cases getting to fight alongside or against them.

Fast Paced Action can sometimes get your adrenaline pumping.
A good bit of customization (though far from the greatest) Earning new costumes and styles in game can sometimes be better then what you originally chose you hero to wear.

Cons: Bad, almost horrible fighting mechanics if you are a melee fighter (it's much easier as a ranged fighter). To go along with this horrible boss mechanics.

No crafting, some might see that as a good thing but to me, it's just one less thing to do at end game content.

Game has more bugs then Joe's Apartment, resulting in a lot of downtime problems.

Graphics are just ok, almost PS2, regular X-Box quality.

Could use much bigger character customization



Dragon's Nest - Pros: Good graphics, smooth animation

Fun, flashy moves

Smooth controls

Excellent ongoing story with a quest tab that's easy to keep track of the entire story and current objectives

Most dungeons are pretty brief only last 10-12 minutes on normal difficulty. Excellent if you don't have much free time for MMO's.

Cool boss battles

Cons: Horrible party access in my opinions.

Could use more variety of music (dungeon music always converts into encounter music as soon as you get near enemies so your hearing the same music over and over)

Completely lack of customization, and not that much variety in appearance of armor changing (you do get better armor to increase your stats, but the clothing will remain looking the same)
NPC's find you annoying, cut scenes make your character seem like a loser so far (prove me wrong end content) almost feel like your stripped from trying to be a hero in the game.

Since Final Fantasy first hit the NES a bug has bitten the US market. The ability to live out a heavily story driven game that allows you to still do really cool things. The best of this crop to change the landscape has been such greats as Final Fantasy 7, Fable, and Bioware games (barring DA2) that have really given us the chance to live in another life. MMOs take hundreds of hours to accomplish this, and hand out small chunks of story laced with such timeless classics as "go get pig intestines" only to find a dozen such pigs without said organ. However despite that we, as a community, love RPGs.

Today's review (13 hours of game play in) in Skyrim, the much anticipated next chapter in the Elder Scrolls franchise. Now before we get started let's just take a moment to review the previous Elder Scrolls. First person RPG type action set into a sandbox environment pretty much was their thing. However I remember playing at least one of them and getting so sick of it inside 20 minutes I wanted to throw it out my window. In fact I traded it in long long ago, and who knows where and for what, but I wasn't a fan of it. But Skyrim toted how it made everything so much better. Better enough to intrigue me.

However right out of the ball part the story seems like I've seen this before. And I have, honestly. It's the same sort of bad camera direction I've seen in first person games, but the voice acting almost makes up for it. So I forged on through the expositional dialog that took WAY longer than it should have IMO, and got excited to play this game and see if it was really anything close to Fable in it's open-range class system. Something I enjoyed about the series so much I've tried some extreme things to get that same feel elsewhere.

So do Skyrim stack up to the hype? Well, to be fair, not really. The opening sequence of trying to escape a dragon attack in a prison camp should have been absolutely awesome. Instead I spent the whole run wanting to give Bethesda a punch in the nose for bad controls. Perhaps the PC version has a better key mapping ability, but for the 360 it is a shooter's controls on a hack and slasher's game. I call foul right there. Now this would be an optimal way to play if you were an archer or even a mage. It would feel right at home, but using it to swing swords, axes and other objects of death? It's clunky. It feels like you're a keyboard turner in a MMO E-Sport tournament. Of course that last statement is hyperbole, cause there is no MMO E-Sport. Silly Blizzard. E-Sports are for shooters...

But to be on topic I was to throw some praise out. This game looks beautiful. The details, the character creation, the clothes, armor, even the buildings are really well done. It's a shame that everything looks so good in a way. Because you never get the time to just stare at how wonderful it looks. You can't spend the appropriate amount of time admiring everything from the beaten road path to the way the landscape can change when you do little things like harvest crops. All in all this is a great looking game, and nothing could change that. Yet how is the story? The quests? The interactions? Well to be fair with you.? Meh.

I wish I had something better to say about it, but for the most part the answer is just sort of a giant shrug. The plot isn't on rails, it's just not there. What should be a great plot from how contrived the opening dialog and action was sort of gets lost by the time you reach the second or third step on the journey hunting people and things that are only vaguely associated with the core plot. In fact I spent so much time talking to people that at one point I needed the interface to remind me what the plot was. This game may do a good job at sandboxing, but it tries too hard to accomplish it when the plot gets lost behind errands for shop vendors and blacksmiths.

What else is good about the game since I've just punched it in the face like Rocky? Well to be honest I like the crafting system for the most part. Gathering materials sort of requires you steal from everyone you meet, but the crafting is interesting and you can make some pretty cool looking gear. This also ties into my last statement as I actually enjoyed making items at the forge so much I forgot to bother with the plot until I was completely out of materials. So be grudgingly I forged out to attack more things in search of their goodies, but noticed some over-realism that bothered me.

Night time is so dark you actually can barely see. This is cool to set tone, and a well thought of idea in theory for a game, but when the day slides by so fast, and you can only roam the world for 45 minutes at a time before seeking an inn to wait out the dark, it really stars to wear thin after a while. In fact I'd sometimes just go to the bathroom and leave my man standing in the middle of the road. Why? It doesn't matter. You'll be ok in most areas, and you wont really miss anything.

So what's the overall verdict? If you're not a heavy fan of Elder Scrolls and haven't been drooling over this game? Probably not for you. I admit if I was anticipating this game like I know some people were I might actually be thrilled with some of this stiff. As stands I was on the fence but just couldn't enjoy the game enough to recommend it to a person with a more casual interest in it. That's not to say it's a bad game, it's not, but it's just not the sort of game you play on a whim. This game has a crowd, and I'm pretty sure that crowd already got their copy. So if you're just sort of waiting for a review before you invest, you're already not the crowd this was aimed at.

The game tries really hard to deliver a sense of scale and openness that really hasn't been done before. And for the most part it delivers, but the things that it took for granted to get there are major concerns like game play sensibility and plot direction. Things that any game has to have solidly for anything else to work? This game forgot that part. Still if you're a huge fan you may not even notice, but new players to the series will scratch their head and make funny faces all the way through the strange dialog options, control scheme for melee, and even the slowly unfolding plot.

Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim gets a mediocre score, and it's a shame. It could have been great, but instead it forgot the fundamentals while trying to rewrite the game.


The Breakdown:

The Good:

* This game looks sexy. There is no way to say otherwise. Every piece of clothing, armor, weapons, all of it looks amazing.
* The crafting system that allows you to make your own armor and weapons is actually really well done. Getting items for it takes a while, so if you're a fan of that you'll be spending a lot of time stealing and killing across the landscape to get back to a tanning rack or forge for more goodies.
* The voice acting is mostly well done. Even the people you don't give a damn about have some well crafted lines. Your dialog responses may be horrible, but listening to them is a pleasure in and of it's self.
* The leveling system has promise to be great, but after the time I've put in on it I can't say for sure. But it's some pretty interesting stuff none the less. With time this could be one very interesting system.


The Bad:

* This game lacks direction. The plot floats around like a helium balloon some kid let go. And while there's always another quest somewhere, the driving goal isn't strong enough to keep you going for the sake of the storytelling.
* Playability, at least for me, is nil. Once I'm done with this game there's little to no chance I'll play it again for another species or class. Without a plot to lead me, or a moral compass to compare yourself to this game lacks the long-term playability it could have had.
* The world is artfully created, but I don't care about it. I don't care about my character or any character out there. I know a lot of effort went into breathing life into this game, but they forgot that you can't stop at a living breathing body. It needs a soul as well.
* The controls are really well done for a shooter. And I enjoy it when I fire a bow (though for some reason I can't hit a damn thing even at point blank) and casting spells that way must be great, but in melee they're slow, clunky and so far below optimal it's a long learning curve that's painful to reach the end of.

Papa Mimic's Score: 5/10

Well the idea had been to completely skip this review from the site because none of us wanted to review it. "But the biggest selling game franchise in history (besides Mario) and you don't WANT to?!" you may say? That's right. After the days of Doom the FPS was mostly propped up by the sometimes success of a random game, but the genre was pretty much on crippled legs. Then Halo came to save us... or most likely not. As people hooked up 16 player lan parties to blow each other to pieces I was present, enjoying killing my friends and laughing about it.

So what has happened to the genre since? Well the invent of online game play is the largest contributor. Now you can still do 16 (or more sometimes) kill fests, but you get to do it with complete strangers. And not only that, complete strangers who are so much better than almost any casual player they last maybe twenty seconds. And to top it off they're constantly talking crap on the mic. So where does the fun start?



On a side note? This whole trailer is cooler than the game. And almost the length. Just FYI.

The other massive change since Halo to things like this are things no one seems to care about for THIS franchise. The fact that there is no story. 'Terrorists/rebels/rogue agents are going to use chemical weapons/nukes/bloody take overs on unsuspecting civilians in t-minus not-a-lot-of-time.' It's a rehash every time, and somehow people don't care. It's like watching Micheal Bay and John Woo remake Clint Eastwood movies and everyone gets to pick which one was more entertaining. Yet the 5-6 hour campaign length is pretty bad for a $60 game that totes it's self as the best series ever. In fact Force Unleashed is $20 and has about that much time in it. But more replayability. Just throwing that out there...

So what's my review after spending $60 on this game JUST to review it and trade it in as soon as humanly possible? The greatest franchise ever, that has drawn out millions to play it with remake after remake after remake of a tired old idea only to go online and shoot your friend? Why ever bother buying MW2? Everyone should have kept 1, never bought another, and kept going online till they took down your servers to FORCE you to buy another one. It would have saved a lot of people $180, and if we're lucky another tour of duty in this completely redemptionless excuse for games.

My anger is fueled not completely with the game, however. On it's own it's not too bad, but it's really something I'd normally recommend waiting till it hit $20 before buying because you're not getting a game, you're getting an FPS MMO with no story. Instead the trend from this game series screws over a lot of other game companies, not because of competing sales but because of the minimum effort required for the lemmings to show up and buy a copy.

The money men financing games see that Modern Warfare needs an absolutely minimum amount of attention to put out a large-selling game. So when other games with more substance can't simply hand out a thimble full of writing and get the voice actors in the studio for an hour to finish the whole thing, the money men complain. So while I'd like to say I cannot blame the gaming community for how they're destroying their own market, in this case I'm starkly reminded of how well they're doing it.

On a final note let me say Battlefield 3 at least tried for a story. It also has better graphics, more interesting Multi-player maps, and it's just damn sexy. Modern Warfare? Sorry guys, but you get the first ever stamp of ole Papa Mimic for being a failure.

The Breakdown:

The Good:

* Because everyone went to the MW3 midnight release my overnight job was CAKE last night. Not a sole all night long because they were home with their new game.
* It does do an ok job of multi-player trying to do more than run around kill-streaking, but it's so far from perfect all I can do is give this concession to the idea.
* The game is worth a lot as a trade in after you beat it in t-minus 5 hours.

The Bad:

* No story. Sure it's an FPS game and people buy it just for multi-player, but until the industry tries to make their games better they still get dinged for bad work.
* Multiplayer is still the same old. Even with the attempted change who is going to complete objectives? You're still running around with idiots online and there is no ranking or bracketing system ever in place to keep griefers and idiots off your lawn. We do not approve.
* Far too short. I buy games to be entertaining, not to amuse myself after the 5 hour story is exhausted. A game like this isn't worth $20 to me, but you kids may think differently.


Papa Mimic's Score: 3/10

Don't let the image there fool you.  This is one of those weeks where we here at Grumpy Old Nerds....don't give a damn about anything that is coming out.  Modern Warfare 3?  Go to hell.  Skyrim?  Eh....not so much.  So we are going to take the very unpopular stance and say that we don't care.  We don't.  Skyrim (available on Friday November 11th....yeah, 11-11-11.  Whoop-di-shit) looks and sounds impressive, but so did Oblivion, and we didn't care much for that either.  As for Modern Warfare 3 (drops November 8th)....enough is enough.  Seriously people.  All of the Battlefields, and Modern Whatsis....you are killing the First Person Shooter genre.  Stop it.  Do something else, we're begging you.

Other than that....like I said, there is nothing worth getting worked up over.  Next week however, we have a few titles that really have us twitching.

If we really want to be mean about things, we could say that we are looking forward to DC Universe Online finally having a stable server.  They weren't exactly anticipating the kind of surge of subscribers they were going to get.  Way to underestimate the number of cheap bastards that walk the earth, Sony!

So....that'll do it for this week's installment.  Look for a more robust and enthusiastic edition next time where there is talk of Assassin's Creed: Revelations.

- Grumpy Old Nerds

Are you like me and miss the Lord of the Rings games from the early 2000s? Let's not just mention the wonderful games made after Two Towers and Return of the King (that were wonderful hack and slashers) let's also talk a game you SHOULD have played but probably never did. Lord of the Rings: The Third Age. No, kiddies, this isn't a nostalgia review, but it's hard not to mention this great game when you move forward, and chastise the lot of you for not playing it like you should have.

A wonderful RPG that played out during the events of the Trilogy with new characters that were tracking the main fellowship, and had the old-style turn based combat that Final Fantasy pioneered so long ago. This game presented you with new heroes, a new story, and a different look of the world around you based on a relatively insignificant Guard of the Citadel sent to retrieve Boromir at the orders of his father to come home and be the shining example of humanity he was thought to be. Instead you got a wild ride down the rabbit hole as you tried to first catch up with Boromir, and then to ensure that the the Fellowship succeeded.

I remember this game fondly because I absolutely loved the writing. There were no Bioware-age choices to make, but the story was so well crafted you didn't mind fighting Orcs by the score and leveling up super human powers ranging from a rallying cry from the Guardsman to a massive volcano attack from your dwarf warrior. Sure it was over the top, but that only made it more Tolkien-like. Today I bring you the next round of Tolkien inspired games to take place since the Hobbit is beginning it's buzz. Lord of the Rings: War in the North.



The game begins like any attempt by a property to invest you in something not tied exactly into the movies, and fans of the trilogy will instantly hear that the well known voices of Gandalf aren't present in the cast. However if you ignore this you might be surprised at how well they're trying to arrange the game. This game isn't meant to stand up to the movies, and it doesn't try which is a welcome change of pace to late-coming tie ins.

Instead you can choose a human Dunedain ranger, a dwarf warrior or an Elvish mage, though all three will be there at all times, you choose which you want to play as. The good dwarf's voice actor is... not great. I can't lie about it. However the other two are wonderfully done. Which is a good thing because while this may only loosely be called an RPG, you still get to talk with people in Bree (your starting area) just before Frodo shows up. You accomplish a few quests in town, and even have little places where you can give that character's opinion of the area. So this may not be a Mass Effect or Fable-level of choice and decision making, but it at least gives you an invested feel that you don't get a lot of in some games.

Your characters have a starting, static, look. However all you have to do is visit a mirror to change it. The options aren't large, but they're enough to give you some individuality to the person you're playing. Enough to make you at least enjoy the level of detail the game has put into it's engine. From the way water runs down a character in the rain, to the subtle sounds, to the detail on even simple cloth clothing, this game doesn't miss the small stuff much. And it's enjoyable to see how things work even when you're out of combat.

However there is always a down side. With three characters running around trying to vanquish Orcs and Goblins, you cannot switch between characters outside of save points. The ability to flip on the fly to control the battle field would have, I admit, made this game's credits soar through the ceiling. You also cannot change the appearance of, or level your companions. This isn't to say they remain in starting clothes with no abilities, they do it on their own. And if you go to a save and take over you can choose how to level them from scratch. Yet you will be disappointed to see your work on the other characters is overridden. Taking away from the planning and strategy part of an RPG.

Still playing the game is rewarding and bloody (if I say so). This game supports an M rating for good reasoning. The dwarf does drop the F-Bomb, the enemies you fight can be cleaved in two, beheaded, and have limbs sliced off. So this isn't exactly a game for kids. The combo system isn't anything REALLY rewarding, but it's nice to see it doesn't have to be complicated for the sake of being complicated. The enemies get recycled a lot, but it's Lord of the Rings. Ten thousand Orcs tend to be impressive even if they all look somewhat similar. And stringing together attacks multipliers and executions without taking a hit can lead to XP and damage bonuses you may be familiar with from other games.

The story isn't something outside the usual fair, but it offers something you don't get a lot of. They're not trying to save the world. They're trying to buy Aragorn and the Hobbits time. Their soul purpose from the onset is simply to occupy one of Sauron's lieutenants and keep his eyes from the Fellowship. The characters have nice tie ins to places, people you run into, and there's more than a few areas you fight through that inspire awe at how well they were rendered, but you rarely care about the characters. And perhaps you're not suppose to. They're soldiers, and character development (though a good theme in LOTR) doesn't have a place here.

All in all a few fixes like being able to switch in combat, fixing a few gearing bugs when you DO switch characters, and a few more small bells and whistles would make this game solid enough to recommend it to anyone. However in it's current state you suffer from repetitiveness, a competent but lack-luster AI companion set up, and some hit-or-miss story telling that while it is good overall, at times leaves you shaking your head at certain times.

With Skyrum coming out soon this game will get passed up by and large, but it shouldn't be. Give it it's due, play it, and by all means invite your friends to co-op. I haven't tried it yet, but being able to hack and slash your way through Middle Earth together is definitely a pretty cool idea on how to spend a lazy afternoon.



The Breakdown:

The Good:

* The overall story is good, and it doesn't try to reach too far for what it is. Which in this day and age is a welcome addition to tie-in games.
* Combat may be repetitive, but it's rewarding. Stringing together attacks for XP bonuses ala Batman with swords makes it interesting enough to keep playing on and on.
* It's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Even if they drop the ball in places you will sometimes find yourself just looking at how well they've crafted areas, armor, weapons and even the cozy fires in town. Not to mention the moving oil paintings in the loading screens which I find really cool.
* The sounds and the soundtrack are well done. You never realize how important those things are until they're done right. And this game gets it right in spades.
* Co-op can give you hours of run with friends as you plow your way through Middle Earth on a bloody rampage, and challenge maps give you something to do outside the main story. This game can still go the distance for entertainment value.

The Bad:

* Voice acting is so hit or miss that sometimes you just want someone to shut up even if they're handing you story on a platter.
* Without the ability to level your companions you're not in control of how battle really progresses. Instead you find yourself sometimes spending points to compliment the AI so you'll survive longer.
* Repetitive enemies. Still great looking and invest you to the fight, but a little more variety would have been welcome.
* Companion AI is lack-luster. They pass the test, but they don't excel at anything other than just getting along. With other games pioneering companions who can school you if you're slacking, this felt wishy-washy to me.
* Bugs. Simply put this game was shoved out before Elder Scrolls and you know it. A few patch fixes are coming, but don't worry too much. They're not game breaking, just annoying from time to time.

Papa Mimic's Score: 7.5/10

Let me just say that I am sorry about the pun in the title. And by sorry, I mean I am not really, so shut up. I think it is safe to say that in terms of gaming, I am a story first kind of guy (I look forward to your e-mails that I won’t read). That isn’t to say that I don’t appreciate game play, scrutinize every facet of controls, layout, graphics, etc….it just means that if you want to really get me, better make sure your narrative is solid. So when a certain 500 dollar block of plastic and Blu-ray playing fun known as the PS3 first advertised the original Uncharted…I knew that I had to get one just so I could play this game. That’s right….I bought a PS3 just so I could play Uncharted. Honestly? I don’t regret it for a second. Drake’s Fortune was one of the best told stories I have ever experienced, and coupled with game play that wasn’t perfect but had a lot of potential to grow, I was one happy little nerd. The second game was also a hit for me, despite a few little gripes I had with game play and the story gaps between the first and second were a little irritating; but I was still in. And now we have the third installment of the franchise….a franchise that appears to not be going anywhere anytime soon. There is some good and bad in this puppy, which we’ll discuss later. But first…the run down.

The game gets right down to business as we have our intrepid heroes Drake and Victor “Sully” Sullivan entering into a pub that subsequently leads to a bar fight breaking out…well, more aptly a pub brawl. The prize that is being sought after in this installment of the franchise is the lost city of Iram; referred to in the game as the Atlantis of the Sands. The quest to find this city requires Drake and some familiar faces to scour the globe in locations such as London England, southern France, Syria, and Yemen as they trace the steps of not only Francis Drake but also T.E. Lawrence better known as Lawrence of Arabia.

As far as character interaction goes, the main focus is on the relationship with Sully and Drake and their history with the main antagonist, Katherine Marlowe. Through this, we see the first meeting of Drake and Sully, as well as the first encounter with Marlowe that sets the story up as Iram being a bigger find than even El Dorado itself from the first Uncharted. The dynamic and relationship between Nate and Sully is good and compelling, but the problem is the same kind of chemistry and dynamic with other characters seems to suffer. Chloe for instance does not seem at all like the character we experienced in Among Thieves, and we again find Elana Fisher and Drake being estranged from one another again…a trend that I really hope does not continue in any future Drake games.

Another trend that I am a little worried about is the use of gimmicks from the previous games showing up in this one. Escaping from crumbling ruins, while effective, can get old really fast if it shows up in every title. Repackaging the concept would be a good idea. I was also left scratching my head at the use of a quasi-supernatural obstacle in what can only be described as “Arachnophobia level” spiders. There really seemed like they were put in for no logical reason at all, especially when the city itself has no connection to the insects whatsoever…yet here they were at every necessary location in their quest to Iram.

There are some additions to the series that did not show up in the other two, however….and they were great. For instance, new melee finishes like pulling the pin on an enemy’s grenade that is still strapped to their belt. That kind of flourish made you want to engage in hand to hand combat as often as possible just so you could get the satisfaction of blowing a guy up with their own grenade.

For all of the good that we got, there were moments where you had to sit back and scratch your head and figure out in what way did this seem like a good idea…like with camera angles. The camera has been a point of irritation for me in a lot of games, and Uncharted has been no exception there. The camera in the franchise does do things better than most, but when they get things wrong, you really see it…and potentially feel it. Angles like one on the sinking ship part of the game (OMG SPOILERTHHHH!) that must have been pitched by a kid that took one film class/and or dropped out of filmschool but believes themselves to be an artist. The angle is SO ANNOYING you would be hard pressed to beat said kid with a bronzed replica of an Oscar yelling “YOU ARE NOT SCORSESE” with each blow.

Despite my gripes (which you will see more in the Breakdown), Drake’s Deception is a really solid game that is extremely entertaining as well as addicting. I say this because what was intended to be a “first impressions” piece ended up being the full fledged review just because I couldn’t put the damn thing down. It is another winner by Naughty Dog who I hope continues to grow and improve. A great game that demands you play it at least once.

The Breakdown

The Good:

• Epic story we have come to expect from the franchise
• New melee combat “finishes” that give us more than just a “knockout”.
• Art is top notch, doing a phenomenal job in sucking you in to the game.
• The cover system seems to have improved over the course of the three games.
• Top Notch Voice Acting….you once again feel like you are experiencing a film rather than a game.
• The throwing (be it grenade or propane tank) seemed to be a lot smoother this time around.
• AI was a lot meaner this time around.
• Co-Op feature is a nice treat.

The Bad:

• Camera Angles at times were just awkward….like on the ship for instance (yes yes…spoilerth. Go to hell).
• Quick Time Events in melee combat did not seem to work consistently. You could be wailing on triangle all day and still get a face full of fist.
• Too many of the “big guy” minions in combat mode. They were a unique addition to the game, but their continued use took away from the novelty.
• While the game tells a great story, it is once again way too short….a minor gripe here but with something as good as Uncharted, you always want more.
• I know I said the cover system was improved…but there were still moments where it seems off. There were places that one should (if they employ logic) be able to crouch behind or lean against that instead made for some awkward moments where you roll against a wall.
• In the same breath, movement of Drake could be really sloppy at times as well. I noticed times when you wanted Drake to move slowly made him look like he was constipated because the engine felt that for the particular situation, he should be running.

Numbspoon’s Numeric Value: 9.1